Ps Darin Browne @ Ignite Christian Church
Religion & Spirituality:Christianity
Here's the study notes on how to blow up a church, using a little part of your body...
God has already done marvelous things here at Coast Church, but Satan is not happy and wants to disrupt what is happening here. One of our strengths has been unity, but over the last several weeks this has been under attack. Not all out war, but like the attack on Paris last week, many small but deadly attacks have taken place.
It is late in the year. People are tired, run down, stressed, and therefore less patient and kind, and we have had several incidences of people speaking aggressively and hurtfully to each other.
This message not a shot at anyone, but a timely reminder that we must give account for every careless word spoken (Matthew 12:36), and that we can either live together in unity as one body or tear each other apart.
I know every person here, myself included, has particular buttons than when pressed we react rather than respond God's way. Many things I can let slide and be gracious about, but there are some things I am so passionate about I cannot help but react. It's HOW we respond that's the question here, not what the offence is or how passionate we are about it!
John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
In any issue with each other in this church, it's not about whether you are right or wrong, the issue is do we speak to each other with Grace, love and unity!
Make no mistake, you can blow up a church using only your tongue! When we sacrifice unity to get our own way or our own opinion validated, we are potentially blowing up the church! Listen to what God gave me in my quiet time this week...
1 Corinthians 1:10-11
I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.
For it has been reported to me by Chloe's people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers.
Paul was talking about the big picture. “Look,” he was saying, “you’re never going to agree on all the details, but those details don’t matter as much as you think they do. What matters is that you love God and that you help each other follow the way of Jesus.”
Listen to this story...
On the plains of western Canada, early in the fall of the year, during the wheat harvest a three-year-old girl wandered from the yard of her farm home, out into the tall grain and became lost. As night fell and the cold became more intense, the child's father and dozens of neighbors searched frantically through the fields in a fruitless effort to find her. They searched trying not to damage the wheat, but could not find her.
Finally one of the men called the search to a halt, and suggested that they all join hands and, like a giant combine, comb through the field. This would destroy the wheat harvest, but at this stage the farmer was desperate. They joined hands and finally in the bitter-cold hours just before dawn the child's lifeless body was found. The little girl had succumbed to exhaustion and cold and died of exposure.
In anguish, the poor grief-stricken father cried out, "Brothers, we should have joined hands sooner!"
Psalms 133
Behold, how good and pleasant it is
when brothers dwell in unity!
It is like the precious oil on the head,
running down on the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
running down on the collar of his robes!
It is like the dew of Hermon,
which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For there the Lord has commanded the blessing,
life forevermore.
BEING RIGHT BUT WRONG
You can be right, but do it all wrong. You can win a small battle but lose the war. You can feel justified yet get angry and lash out, and you can be morally right but hurt others. Anger is not necessarily wrong, but how you handle it, how you display it can be very, very wrong, even if you are right in principle!
Ephesians 4:26-27
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
and give no opportunity to the devil.
AW TOZER says, "Anger is neither right nor wrong in itself. It can be used for either good or evil—just as a knife can be a surgeon’s scalpel or a murderer’s weapon. Anger can be a powerful tool for confronting wrong. Selfish or manipulative anger, however, can cause great harm. Such anger becomes destructive when it controls us rather than us controlling it."
So, when we feel we are in the right, we fight, and sometimes we don't fight fair.
Add into the mix perceptions, hurts and past experiences, and you have a recipe for disunity that the enemy can exploit!
While there is some debate about the percentages, it is true that non verbal communication has a large bearing on what we convey or hear, or think we hear. Non verbal cues include body language, gestures and the tone of our voice.
You can say conciliatory words in an aggressive manner and the listener will think you are attacking them. You can say speak quietly while shaking your finger in their face with the same result. It's not necessarily what we say, it's how we say it, or text it, or Facebook it!
Even if you believe you are right, if you do not act in love you are a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. Without love, you are nothing 1 Corinthians 13 says!
MY OPINION IS NOT SCRIPTURE
Somewhere in this crazy, mixed up world we have stumbled across the idea that my opinion is really, really important. This idea is increasing, and I think social media has a lot to do with it. Suddenly through Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram and the like, the opinions of the little guy gets an airing.
Ashton, a friend of mine, bought a jeep. It was a lemon, and he tried and tried to make Jeep listen to his complaints. They fobbed him off, then basically told him to get lost, though he tried to be heard over about a year. He started a Facebook campaign, and got national TV coverage as he beat his jeep to a pulp. The little guy has a voice!
Or what about Canadian country musician Dave Carroll who's guitar was broken by United airlines baggage handlers at Chicago's O'Hare airport. He tried to get it replaced, they told him to take a hike, and he wrote a song called "United Breaks Guitars" which went viral in 2009 shattering United's public profile to the point where they begged him to remove it. The little guy has a voice!
So we think that our little voices are all important, and the only valid opinion. That's why people vent on Facebook, because they have a potentially large audience for the first time in history.
And this attitude has spilled over into the church, where we think that expressing our opinion is more important than, say, the unity of believers!
The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion- Paulo Coelho
ARE YOU RIGHT WITH YOUR RIGHTS
Solomon's son Rehoboam was King... He had the right to command all of his subjects, the entire nation of Israel. But after his father's death, the northern tribes approached him to ask that he might be kinder to them and less demanding of them than his father.
2 Chronicles 10:4
“Your father made our yoke heavy. Now therefore lighten the hard service of your father and his heavy yoke on us, and we will serve you.”
He sought advice, and ignored the wise, older men instead listening to his mates down the pub...
2 Chronicles 10:13-14
And the king answered them harshly; and forsaking the counsel of the old men,
King Rehoboam spoke to them according to the counsel of the young men, saying, “My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to it. My father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions.”
One statement and he lost 3/4 of his kingdom, and it didn't have to be that way! He was within his rights as a king, but when they came seeking compromise, he answered harshly!
We live in a world that cries out for rights, but is that right in the church?
We have refugees demanding we treat them in a certain way when they come to our country, we have the gay movement saying if we disagree with them we are violating their human rights. We have native land rights, gay rights, women's and men's rights, human rights, we have ethnic minorities demanding rights, the unemployed want their rights, prisoners want rights, we've got save the whale, save the koala, everybody demands their rights, what they think they deserve!
We should just wrap them all together and have land rights for gay whales and be done with it!
Because when you come to Jesus, you forsake all of your demands and rights and you get only one right... The right to serve your Lord and Master!
Christ gave up everything for us. He left His Father’s side to assume a frail human body. He who should have been served became a servant. He turned Himself over to the brutality of human hatred and He died a convict’s death. Who are we to quibble over trivialities and cling to our “rights?”
As Christians, we cannot, indeed we must not, demand our rights over that of someone else.
Matthew 23:11
The greatest among you shall be your servant.
Want to be great? Want to be honoured? Want to be loved and respected? Be a servant! That's how God's Kingdom works. Jesus, the King of Kings, washed the disciples' feet to show us God's way rather than man's way! When you fire up and lash out, you might feel justified but you will lose people's respect!
So where on earth, and I use that phrase deliberately because it is not from heaven, do we get the idea that we should fight in the church, nearly come to blows with our brothers and sisters, all for our rights or our opinions?
Listen, you can be very right but still be very, very wrong in the way you handle it!
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
The Greek word for corrupting is sapros, which means worthless, rotten, unwholesome or putrid! The image is of an animal, vegetable or fish rotting and smelling to high heaven!
The Greek word for building up is Oikodome, an archetectural term meaning to erect, to edify and, by implication for the early church, to promote another's growth in wisdom, piety or happiness.
Let me ask you... Is getting our way so important that we would violate this clear command of Scripture?
Note the next verse...
Ephesians 4:30
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Could it be that, when we are harsh with each other, we actually grieve the Holy Spirit? I believe we do, and in this church, We can't afford to do that!
HOW TO TALK TO EACH OTHER
We are human, and humans inevitably have conflict. People will say things that hurt or offend. But Proverbs provides wisdom on how we should speak to one another...
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:4
A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
Proverbs 25:15
With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.
We are too rough with each other. If you want to turn away wrath, if you want to influence others, learn the secret of the soft tongue. Learn the secret of speaking with grace, dignity, holiness and unity instead of demanding your opinion and rights be upheld.
Learn to control your tongue. Let's not mince words here, let's call it like it is, like James calls it...
James 1:26
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.
I didn't say it, folks, God did! I'm not accusing anyone, just telling you what God Himself says! We are too cutting with our words, in our families, in our social interactions and in the church.
James 3:5-6
So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!
And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and is set on fire by hell.
Listen to this passage in the Message...
James 3:5-6
A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!
It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.
There is a story of a woman in an Indian village who maliciously gossiped about another lady and her family in the village. One day she found out that she was wrong about this lady and her family and had a change of heart. She went to the village’s wise man and asked how she could take back all the wrong she had done. The wise man told her to go home and kill a chicken and pluck its feathers and put them into a bag. After this she was to go back and see the wise man again, but on her way back she was to scatter all the feathers she had plucked from the chickens.
The lady did as she was told. When she got back to the man, he told her, " now go back and pick up all the feathers that you have scattered. " She said, " Impossible. By now the wind has carried the feathers throughout the village and beyond."
The wise man then said to her,” And so it is with your careless words. They are like the feathers scattered in the wind. You can’t retrieve them. "
Listen to some of the verses from
Romans 12:9-20
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
HOW TO BEHAVE TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER
To be honest, as your pastor, I know there are issues and I do care about what the issues are. But I care more about how it is handled! I listen and understand both sides of the argument. Both are right. Both are wrong. That's not the point!
What matters more is how we relate to one another. What matters most is preserving the unity of our church family, not attacking one another. What matters is the way you speak, the words, the tone, the softness instead of aggression. You won't agree with everything, and that's OK.
The Corinthian church had such heated disagreements they actually went to court to sue each other! But Paul says...
1 Corinthians 6:7
To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?
Here's how to handle disagreements in the church family...
You're hurt, I get it. But you need to recognise that you are hurt. Once you take on this offence, it's not longer about the issue, so don't let the devil fool you. Whatever the issue, it's how you handle it that shines through.
Better to walk away than say something destructive. If you take time you will see the situation more clearly and be able to respond in a measured way, not react in a hurt way.
King Hezekiah received an offensive letter, and the first thing he did was take it to God...
Isaiah 37:14-15
Hezekiah received the letter from the hand of the messengers, and read it; and Hezekiah went up to the house of the Lord, and spread it before the Lord.
And Hezekiah prayed to the Lord:
When upset or offended, turn first to God. Pray and pray and share it with Him, and He will show you the godly way to respond.
We always talk to others about what others say and do, and mostly this is destructive. We gossip, we slander, we try and get people on our side.
So, if you need to share, choose a mature, balanced godly confident. You can share with myself or one of the other leaders here, but don't go spreading venom around the church and call it sharing!
Meet with them. Face to face is better. Don't confront, don't go in all aggressive, but gently, humbly and as a servant share your hurt. It is helpful to have a mature person there also. Remember, if the other person is truly "off the reservation", there is a hierarchy in Mathew 18 of how offences should be processed in our family.
1 Corinthians 12:25
that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.
Can you lay your offence, your issue aside for the sake of Christ, for the sake of unity?
Let me ask you, are you willing, are you humble enough, are you prepared to be vulnerable enough to share your hurt and reach out to those who spoke against you?
Why not suffer a wrong for the Lord?
You might have been accused of being harsh and unreasonable, and your words may have hurt someone else. Let me ask you, are you humble enough to swallow your pride and seek forgiveness?
Why not suffer a wrong for the Lord?
Let me warn you that if the answer is no, then you are carrying a burden you don't need to carry, and frankly you are in sin. Let it go, and let God touch your life, and restore unity in the body!
I am sharing this message not to accuse anyone, but to bring satan's subversive scheme to the surface. To shed light on hat he is trying to do in the darkness. We need unity to function properly. We need to l arm to love each other here, because eternity is a really long time to spend with people you hate!
We have a standard of behaviour to uphold...
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
You can disagree with others without being disagreeable! You may never see eye to eye, but you can walk hand in hand, arm in arm!
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