If what you focus on grows, then it makes sense to focus on the positive. Our kids, and actually all of us, seek attention. The thing about attention is that it has an absolute quality. That is, negative attention fills the bill just as much as positive attention. The problem is that it is lots easier to get negative attention. So, the the extent possible, focus on the positive. Also, if there are good and bad parts to us, they balance out to 100 parts. That means, if your child has 63 good parts about him, he then has 37 bad parts. The proportion always adds up to 100. So, if you focus on the good parts, remember that what you pay attention to grows, the good parts go up and the bad parts go down. Even when correcting your child, help him think about how he could have done things better, rather than blaming or shaming for what he did wrong. What you focus on grows into a teachable moment.
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