46 Encouragement and Inspiration for your Motherhood Journey with Anjuli Paschall

46. Encouragement and Inspiration for your Motherhood Journey with Anjuli Paschall

 

**Transcription Below**

 

“It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace.” Hebrews 13:9 (middle) NIV

 

Anjuli Passchall is a Jesus-follower, Pastor’s wife, and mother to 5. She has used her platform on Instagram for good: she launched The Moms We Love Club in 2018 where the mission is to use social medial to love moms who are struggling through sharing, praying, and raising funds. You can find out more at themomsweloveclub.com. 

 

The Moms We Love Club Website

Connect with Anjuli on Instagram: @themomsweloveclub and @anjulipaschall

 

Thank You to Our Sponsor: Peoria Christian Schools

 

Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website

 

Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!

 

Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)

 

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

 

Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

 

Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” 

 

Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” 

 

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

 

Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” 

 

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

 

Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” 

 

Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

 

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

 

Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”

 

Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”

 

Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“

 

Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“

 

Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

 

**Transcription**

 

[00:00:00] <music>

 

Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger and I'm so glad you're here. 

 

[00:00:17] <music>

 

Laura Dugger: I want to say thank you to our sponsor, Peoria Christian School. They are raising a generation of 21st-century Christian leaders right here in central Illinois. Visit their website at peoriachristian.org. Thanks for your sponsorship. 

 

Anjuli Paschall is our guest today, and her heart for others is obvious. She had thousands of followers on Instagram, so she used that platform for good. Today you're going to find out more about the Moms We Love Club that she launched on social media, which has gained national attention and has impacted so many lives. 

 

You can also expect to hear her encouragement of what life looks like when we apply biblical principles, such as confessing our sins one to another. Here's our chat. 

 

Welcome to the Savvy Sauce, Anjuli. 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Hi, it's great to be here, Laura. 

 

Laura Dugger: Well, you are known all over Instagram, but for any of our listeners who don't yet know you, can you just give us a glimpse of your current life? [00:01:25] 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Yes, I can try. It's a little bit of a whirlwind, but I am located and living and enjoying life in Southern California in San Diego, with my husband, who's a local pastor here at a church, and my five kids. I have my oldest, who is 11, and then a 9-year-old, almost 7-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a 1-year-old. And we are kind of in the middle of a renovation, tearing down walls, building new walls, extending part of our house. But in the chaos and the crazy, we are trying our hardest and best to stay awake to the love of God. I think it's kind of my heart and my goal and my desire is, even in the crazy, that we don't lose ourselves. 

 

Laura Dugger: Well, you seem to just have an incredible gift of encouraging women, especially through your raw and refreshingly vulnerable Instagram posts. It seems that you love being a mom, yet it maybe looked a little bit different from what you expected. So will you just share more about your motherhood journey and what lessons God's been teaching you? [00:02:40] 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Wow. You know, I think as little girls, we imagine life and we dream life up in our heads, you know, what it's going to look like. And I think ever since I was young, I always wanted to be a mom. Then I think actually having kids really rocked my world in a good and beautiful and hard, hard way. 

 

I think the hardest part about motherhood for me has been trying to live honestly in a world where I think there's a lot of pressure to have it all together or to absolutely love every moment of motherhood. The truth is when I had my first child, I did not love every single minute of motherhood. Not only did I just feel like a wreck, but then on top of feeling like a wreck, I felt like a guilty wreck because wait, What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to be taking pictures of every moment and just creating a lovely baby book and soaking up moments outside on a blanket. And I wasn't. [00:03:51] 

 

I was just really lonely and really hurting and really struggling and I didn't know why. I thought something was really wrong with me until I actually started talking about it and I realized, wow, a lot of people actually feel the same way I do. So it really has been a journey. It has been a journey, journey, journey. Can I say that in capital bold black letters? Because who I am, and who I am as a mother, and who I am as a wife... I think it really was an identity crisis that, even 11 years later, I'm still unfolding. 

 

Laura Dugger: Do you feel like there was any specific encouragement given to you along the way that made things seem a little bit easier or better? 

 

Anjuli Paschall: You know what? I heard this amazing quote, and actually, I've been thinking about it a lot recently, and I wish I could credit somebody out there for this quote, but the one quote that has kind of sustained me a lot is, it's not hard because you're failing, it's hard because it's hard. I think that has just been a little bit of a lifeboat for me because every time, you know, I'm like juggling two kids in a public bathroom and wanting to hide in my pantry and lock the door and on the side of the road crying because I don't know how to drive with a baby who's crying and or kids who are fighting the backseat, it's kind of like, Wait, I'm not failing. What I'm doing, it's just really hard. 

 

And it's okay that life is hard. It's not a reflection of my ability or my skill or my worth. It's just this is what God has given me to carry. And it comes with really hard days and really hard moments. [00:05:51] 

 

Laura Dugger: I love that you're just normalizing the tricky part for all of the parents out there. That sibling fights and crying and feelings of guilt, that that is all part of it. 

 

Anjuli Paschall: I think the fantasy of motherhood and the reality of motherhood, that's the shock right there. And don't get me wrong, there are magical moments, certainly, when there's butterflies, and the kids are just playing lovely, and you're eating popsicles, and it's just perfect, you know what I mean? There's lemonade, just all those things are beautiful. But I think there's also the reality that these kids are human and they have brokenness just like I do and it is my honor and pleasure and burden that I get to unwrap their hearts and help them process their humanness and their brokenness. 

 

So the fracture between fantasy and reality, that is a tricky thing and takes a long time to adjust to. And just because every moment of motherhood isn't like a musical and isn't like a fantasy, it doesn't mean that you're a bad mom. And it doesn't mean you have to love every moment of your life. I think that's part of the unraveling process is, oh yeah, raising little humans with messy hearts like mine, that's a tricky balancing act every second of the day. [00:07:24] 

 

Laura Dugger: Yes, definitely. Do you have a few favorite, maybe practical ways that you encourage other moms? 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Yeah. I think back to when I was having my first and second children. And I think what I just appreciated so much from other moms who are maybe a little bit ahead of me is a simple word of encouragement. Like, you're doing okay. It's going to be all right. It's okay to cry. It's okay to talk about how you really feel. 

 

I think part of that is really finding safe people. Some of the best encouragement I got when I was a young mom was really to find a safe person. Find people who you can trust and who are trustworthy. People who will let you cry, people who will watch your children last minute, people who will let you dump your emotions and feelings on. [00:08:33] 

 

I think that is a really beautiful thing to have a friend you can lean on who's really going through what you're going through. And with that, I think there's some amazing resources out there right now. One is local mops groups or moms groups, or most churches have a mom connection group that you can get plugged into. I know it's scary and risky and hard to get out of the house but to find support systems that can [inaudible 00:09:01] you up and carry you through are huge.

 

I think there's other ways if you just can't get out of the house. I think a lot of us lean and look towards social media right now. There's ways you can use social media for good and ways that it can totally wreck you. I would just encourage moms to find people you connect with and trust on social media and women who speak truth and honesty and hope into the middle of your story who don't make you feel bad about not having a perfect kitchen or a pantry that's a wreck or socks that are mismatched. [00:09:41] 

 

But again, I think it's really important to find safe people no matter what it costs. So make that a priority. That's how I would encourage moms. 

 

Laura Dugger: You are one of those safe people and you have used your platform on Instagram for so much good. On your personal page, I'm just going to read one of your recent quotes. It says, "I promise you'll read again. I promise you'll share and pluck your eyebrows and cook a delicious meal again. But if today isn't that day, believe what you offer God and others is enough. You are a treasure. Those who love you understand. They are cheering you on and are forever standing beside you. No guilt, shame, or try harder. You being you, messy and all is an absolute honor to behold." I just want to say thank you for being that safe person. 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Thanks.

 

Laura Dugger: And now a brief message from our sponsor. 

 

Sponsor: This sponsor is particularly special to our editor, Natalie, because this is the school where her husband teaches and her children attend. Peoria Christian School, grades pre-K through 12, offers a Christ-centered, award-winning education for students. They believe eternity matters and so they want to share the importance of knowing the Lord personally. [00:11:07] 

 

PCS supports the Christian home and church by teaching from a biblical worldview. Their caring faculty and staff infuses God's truths through every area of the day, not just in daily Bible classes or in weekly chapels. Peoria Christian students engage in active learning through STEAM, bring your own device in high school, and so much more. 

 

The Peoria Christian Elementary School was named a 2017 National Blue Ribbon School of Excellence, and the high school was named a 2018 National Blue Ribbon Exemplary High Performing School. PCS students grow in every aspect through their safe environment as teachers share their faith throughout the day. It is another place where your student hears and sees how to live with a Christ-like attitude and develop biblically-based character. 

 

The students are academically challenged and spiritually equipped for the next phase of life as lifelong learners. Peoria Christian School is raising a generation of 21st-century Christian leaders. Visit their website at peoriachristian.org and schedule a campus tour today. Thanks for your sponsorship. [00:12:12] 

 

Laura Dugger: And on a little bit lighter note, as a mom of five, do you have any particular mom hacks that you would recommend? 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Oh my goodness. Yes, I hack everything. Everything is a hack. I think that is the only way I could survive. One of my biggest ones, I never thought I would do this before I had kids, but I am a big fan of drive-thru. I wish I could cook every single meal and make it beautiful, but I'm not and I won't and I can't. So I love drive-thru. It is a way that all my kids are buckled in and actually will eat a meal. And I think that has saved my life more often than not. 

 

I joke about this but like I don't match socks. I don't fold clothes that go in the drawer. It's just in there and when you're ready to wear it you take it out and it might be wrinkles, but that's life.

 

Laura Dugger: Absolutely. And I've even seen you post this before when you're at home, one of your ideas that we've tried to implement is just a simple meat and cheese tray for lunch where you put some fruit on and kids all grab what they want. 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Oh, I just did it. It's brilliant. If you always have little scraps of something in your pantry or in your fridge or in your freezer that there's like five bites left and you don't know what to do with it, so throw it on a board and all of a sudden it's lunch. It's amazing. [00:13:46] 

 

Laura Dugger: And for some reason that presentation is more appealing to kids as well, so I thought that was a great hack. 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Right? It feels so communal. I love it. 

 

Laura Dugger: You've also launched an Instagram movement called the Moms We Love Club, and it's so amazing. I would just love to hear more of the backstory. 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Yeah, I could cry just talking about it. It's one of those nudges, if you've ever had, you know, God just put something on your heart and you try and shake it off and you can't, you know? I totally believe in God's nudges. That He's always putting on our hearts people to pray for, to text, to buy dinner for, to love on. The Moms We Love Club is something I could not sleep about because it was so impressed on my heart that I needed to do this. 

 

I think you have to be cold-hearted to not have empathy for moms going through long-term suffering. There is a mom, if I'm looking out my window right now, we kind of live up on a hill and I can look down over our city and there's a mom right now that lives down there whose name is Lindsey. [00:14:58]

 

I've never met Lindsey, but we have a lot of mutual friends and she suffers from chronic migrainosis, which if you've ever had even a headache, it's debilitating, but let alone a migraine, you can't get out of bed. So Lindsey has suffered from chronic migrainosis for six years. 

 

So for six years, she's had a migraine and so it's incurable. You can't fix it. And just to think right now this is her life is a dark, dark room. And she has a son and she can't leave, she can't get up. Her husband carries her to the bathroom, to the shower, to feed, to help her eat. And I just couldn't sleep because it's kind of a living hell. When she posts, when she can, it's about Jesus and about grace and about love. 

 

So I just got thinking, like, how can we love her who's in a very dark place? I think any mom going through long-term suffering, there's this idea that in the beginning, everyone rallies, everyone supports you, everyone shows up. [00:16:04] But after time, when the illness continues, when the pain doesn't go away, when the grief is still debilitating, people slowly start to trickle away. 

 

And I think anyone who's been through suffering would agree that this happens. And so my thought was, what if we can remind moms who are going through such pain that they're not forgotten, that they're loved, and they're remembered, and that we're caring them. 

 

So part of this was starting an Instagram feed called the Moms We Love Club, where on the same day of every month, everyone posts the same picture. So imagine scrolling through your feed, and you see the same picture of the same mom over and over and over again. That just piques your interest and you move towards it and you move towards her and you follow her story and you fall in love with her, really, her compassion and her grace and her beauty and her perseverance. So thus was birthed the Moms We Love Club. [00:17:07] 

 

We started in February of 2018 and since then we've been able to support and love one mom a month. And we've been able to raise over $150,000 by simply posting a picture on social media. And it, one, brings awareness to the condition that they're suffering with, their husband's suffering with, or their children have. It brings prayer to them and it brings financial support. And hopefully, my greatest, greatest hope is that mom would know that she's loved and not forgotten. 

 

Laura Dugger: Wow. That is incredible to hear that the Lord put this vision on your heart, and you were obedient to it, and that it's already changing people's lives. 

 

Some of you have reached out to find specific books or resources that we have mentioned in one of our episodes. That's why I'm so excited to let you know about our new "Resources" tab. When you visit thesavvysauce.com, you can now click on our new tab called "Resources". There you will find all the resources we've ever mentioned on all the episodes of The Savvy Sauce. 

 

When you purchase a resource from that list, you actually support our work at The Savvy Sauce. We also spend a lot of time preparing show notes for every individual episode, so you can still access the websites, scripture, and recommended resources when you click on any individual episode. [00:18:26] We hope you take advantage of these features so you can apply all that you've learned. 

 

Are there any other surprising stories or things that have occurred as the result of launching the Moms We Love Club?

 

Anjuli Paschall: I have so many stories. Each mom changes me. Each mom impacts my life. What they go through in a single day blows my mind. Some of these moms have two kids with extremely rare disabilities or fatal diseases or an incurable cancer. So to even get in the car to go to Target takes an extreme amount of work. For me to go to Target, it takes like five minutes and I still complain sometimes. 

 

I think one story is mom Stacy, her son Nathan was diagnosed with Batten disease. He will die from Batten disease. It's a slow degenerative disease. And she was in a really dark place when we did this campaign for her. [00:19:32] She emailed me, when the campaign was done, just saying how close she was to giving up on her faith in God, how close she was to just giving herself to depression and the darkness that comes with raising a son who's going to die. 

 

And since we've been able to do this campaign for her, not only was social media rallying around her, but then her community, again, who had kind of forgotten about her, rebirthed and rallied around her and supported her. Actually, a local contractor reached out to her and offered to renovate a room in their house for free. Because Nathan was having so many seizures, they needed a really specifically designed room that could hold the pain and symptoms and seizures that he was having. 

 

So I think it was just God used it like an arrow to her heart as a way to remind her that she's loved and not forgotten. That story's really close to my heart. [00:20:38] 

 

Laura Dugger: And that one's so powerful because you see so many different ways that the body of Christ was used and mobilized to each do their part.

 

Anjuli Paschall: Absolutely, yeah. 

 

Laura Dugger: Another one that I think of is Lori, who I believe was one of the first moms that you featured. Can you share her story with us? 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Wow. Lori, Mom to five boys. When her youngest son was born, her oldest son was seven. So five boys under the age of seven. The youngest boys, they're less than a year apart. This mom is absolutely incredible. Her husband was in a biking accident, it was a hit and run, and he's completely paralyzed from the neck down and a lot of brain damage. Her oldest son was seven and her youngest son was, I think, eight weeks old. 

 

When I wanted to do the campaign for Lori, part of the campaign is really getting a picture that when people see it on social media, they stop scrolling. [00:21:50] And when Lori sent me the pictures that were taken of her five boys and her husband, I just wept. Because you cannot see these pictures and these images of this mom and what she goes through without just sobbing. Because this incredible superwoman, Lori, cares for her five boys and her husband, who is disabled, mentally disabled, and physically disabled, and yet she strives and she perseveres and she believes and she does not give up on her husband's healing for a second. 

 

This image went viral. It was on the news. It was on People Magazine. I mean, it was insane how many times people posted and how much people donated, and how many hearts cracked wide open for Lori and her boys. And so to see social media and to see even political and public figures post her picture was a beautiful thing.

 

When I got to meet her, we both just cried because it was such a powerful experience, inspiring, really, for so many people who have difficult lives or regular lives to keep going and not give up. Not only that, but find gratitude and grace in the midst of a really difficult situation. 

 

Laura Dugger: That story is so powerful, just like all of them that you share. I've been curious, how do you meet each of these moms that you feature? 

 

Anjuli Paschall: So a lot of times what happens is really God just brings them on at the right time. We have a process online where you can submit and share about a mom you might know who is going through long-term suffering. Like two or three other moms that we just pray through each application. [00:23:58] 

 

The Moms We Love Club never has to stop and so the months are endless. So we kind of look at each mom and the ones that seem like they need the most care and most reminder of love, we try and support them. So we have moms set up for the next several months. 

 

Laura Dugger: Well, and if anybody's listening and they want to get involved or they want to connect with you, what's the best way they could reach out or follow you? 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Oh, that'd be great. Well, one, follow the Moms We Love Club. Then we have a blog, themomsweloveclub.com, and on there you can find an application, I think it's like six questions, where you can share your mom's story. 

 

Laura Dugger: That's perfect because we're going to link to all of this in the show notes in case anybody wants to connect with you further. I have one final question that I like to ask every guest. We are called The Savvy Sauce because savvy means practical. So we would all love to hear, what is your savvy sauce?

 

Anjuli Paschall: Savvy sauce. I love that. So I might have three, if that's okay. Maybe four. But for sure, every morning I have a cup of tea and every morning I light a candle. For me, one, I just love the flicker of lights. I think when I light that candle, that is setting my heart. That is peace, that is a reminder to breathe, a reminder to pray. [00:25:35] 

 

It just kind of starts my day lighting that candle. It usually is lit most of the day when I'm home. And every time I just walk by it, I just remind myself to breathe, take a deep breath. Then I reheat my tea like a million times, but I always have a cup of hot tea. 

 

Then a real practical thing that has really helped me and is really hard, but is really good, is confession. And I mean that in confession and prayer. I mean that as confession to my husband and confession to people around me. I don't mean that just like, here are all my terrible, horrible sins or things that I'm doing wrong. I think confession is like, this is my heart and this is where I'm at. And it's a very vulnerable and hard thing to do to open up and to share the truth in my heart, but it is the best, most healing thing I can do every day. [00:26:38] 

 

Sometimes I do that on social media, you know. Like this is where I'm at. This is what's going on. But I think more than anything I desire an honest and real and true relationship with God and other people and I think the real way that happens is through vulnerability. That is part of my savvy sauce, even though it kind of makes my heart quiver and shake. That's what I lean into when I want to grow, when I want to really connect with people is through vulnerability. 

 

Laura Dugger: And you do that so well. It's just peaceful to get to spend time with you. 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Thank you. 

 

Laura Dugger: Yes, I mean that. It was such a joy to get a few moments with you. So thanks for being a guest with us today. 

 

Anjuli Paschall: Such a joy. Thank you. 

 

Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. [00:27:38] Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.

 

This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.

 

This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. 

 

We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. [00:28:40] Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 

 

So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen. 

 

If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him. 

 

At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?

 

First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John. [00:29:48] 

 

Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. 

 

We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process. 

 

Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. 

 

If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.