Z001 - IT'S NOT A MIMIC! - IT'S A WIZARD'S TOWER!!!

APRIL FOOLS!!!  Just as most mimics look like chests and most episodes look well-researched, this Monday looks relatively normal.  But you should know better by now, Constant Listeners. For today is the holiday made for mimics everywhere, and this panel of DM’s love giving when you least expect it.  So here’s a short, quick, special episode about how to design and create a wizard’s tower for your campaign. The Dungeon Masters of the It’s A Mimic podcast bring you a brief breakdown of how to create your own wizard’s tower.

From magic spells to arcane secrets, wizards’ towers are full of all sorts of zany wackiness that defies all logic.  In this special episode of the Dungeons & Dragon 5th Edition podcast about wizard’s towers, the DM’s work together to do some stuff.  Let’s be honest. No one is reading this far into the show notes, and I’m just sitting here talking to myself. I damn-well know Dan and Terry won’t be looking this over, so I could honestly ramble on about giants or nilbogs or whether or not Tiamat breastfeeds her young, and no one would ever know.  I mean, dragons are - canonically - warm blooded creatures, but they also lay eggs. Considering that the goddess of evil dragons literally lives in her own supernatural spawning pits between two layers of the Nine Hells, she obviously devotes quiet a lot of time to spawning. You’ll note that it’s not called a “mating pit”, but a “spawning pit”.  In theory, it’s a maternity ward, which is good because I don’t want to think about what bumping uglies with a gargantuan five-headed scaly evil hell-bitch looks like, so I’m going to focus on what I assume must be the softer side of Tiamat. You know, the side that houses her compassion for her chromatic dragons and the wyrmlings that she obviously cares for.  Wait a minute. Wait an effing minute. Do dragons lactate? If they’re some sort of mammal/reptile crossbreed, do they even have mammary glands? And how MANY do you think they have? Look, I figure that this is just another random Adam ramble where no one is paying attention anyway, but on the off chance that you actually did read this far, leave an out of context number in the comments below that indicate the number of boobies you think a dragon goddess might have, and don’t tell anyone what you’re talking about.  Especially Dan and Terry. It’ll be funny. And also, have yourself a lovely April Fool’s Day and enjoy this special episode of It’s A Mimic! Also, the first paragraph was bullshit, too. I lied. Isn’t D&D fun?

 

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Music by: Cory Wiebe
Shout Out Music by: Isaac Callender

Logo by: Kate Skidmore