Monday Morning Aural Sex: 2019-04-01 (All I Am Saying Is Give Disturbed A Chance Edition)

Guess who’s baaaaaack? Can ya fuckin’ guess, genius?! It is I, Xtian Silver, Paul Slapperstein, Double-O the magnificent fuckhead extraordinaire from Fucktucky!!!! Oh my fucking me, dearest perverts… we have a lot to discuss, but for the sake of those of you who are entirely uninterested in the events of my life, especially the ones that led me to take a near 3-year hiatus from this podcast, I will save the jawing for the very end. Right after the last track, I’ll be gettin’ real with you motherfuckers. So, stick around if ya can spare some small fraction of a fuck or a shit.

Now, considering I’ve been gone for so long (although not really, as I’ve been dutifully paying for the fucking podcast hosting all this time) I’ve gone through a number of changes. Calm your tits; I didn’t mean sex changes. Anyway, one of them includes a newfound respect, enthusiasm and admiration for one of the most popular metal bands ever: the mighty Disturbed. Over these past few years, I realized that I’ve been entirely too close-minded about these guys, and that they genuinely do have a lot to say. David Draiman is an extremely talented vocalist/lyricist, not to mention the exceptional musicianship of his bandmates. I’m ashamed I can’t recall any of their names at the moment.

Anyway, a few years ago, I made a series of posts regarding their cover of Simon & Garfunkel’s most popular song, “The Sound of Silence.” I really hated it back then, but it’s since grown on me, and I can really relate to what David said about him just vibing on the track, going off feel. The original’s since faded into the background in my heart, because their cover is the only version I need anymore. In fact, that applies to pretty much any and all other music. It’s all just unnecessary when we have such a profound gift as this cover.

So, without any further ado, I humbly invite you to yojne this track as it loops for the next 2 hours. Remember, we are disturbed. We are disturbed. We are disturbed, and we all are disturbed.

 

...

 

Hang on, I need to warm up a bit for the laughter I have in my immediate future. Let me go run a quick lap or two around the house so I don’t pull a muscle. I’ll be right back, perverts…

Whew! Some of it slipped out along the way there… 150 fucking percent Giggity, by the way. Okay, I think I’m ready. Are you?

*laughter* *more laughter* *considerably more laughter* *wow, still? Really? Is it really that funny?* *boy, I guess so…* *someone help me, please! I’m trapped in this psycho’s body and I can’t get out! He keeps making me type stupid bullshit like this because he mistakenly thinks he’s funny or some shit, but I’m fucking terrified of him! Oh fuck, I think he’s on to me. RUN!*

*even more fucking laughter… How jolly can ya get? I mean, really?*

APRIL FUCKING FOOLS, PERVERTS! Okay, okay, so it wasn’t the most clever April Fools’ prank ever. I’m sure most of you were onto the farce pretty early on. Fuckin’ forgive me, will ya?

Anyway, yeah, fuck Disturbed with a log covered in AIDS vomit, fuck that cover for ever having been recorded, fuck everyone involved with recording it, and fuck everyone I don’t know who contributed to their so-called success. Those of you I do know who contributed in some way, I forgive you unless you’re a fucking diarrhea bubble of a person. In the case of the latter, just go die. Please and thank you.

SOOOOOO, now onto the actual fucking podcast finally… Oh, for fuck’s sake. Really? You actually want to hear a 2 hour loop of that mewling pachyderm abortion? Okay, let’s see what I can do for you that also preserves my sanity (such as it is) and the integrity of this podcast (again, such as it is).

There. Ya happy? I compressed the 2 hours down to just under 2 seconds. I hope ya fuckin’ yojned it good and hard, ‘cause we have some worthwhile yojne-ing to get to right now. Let’s fuckin’ do this!

01 Clown Core - Toilet (from Toilet) [00:06:08]

02 Little Big - Hateful Love (from Funeral Rave) [00:07:25]

03 Genetix, Sadhu - Tear Shit Up (from Tear Shit Up) [00:10:45]

04 Twiztid - livin @ the bottom (from livin @ the bottom) [00:14:51]

05 Snails & Adventure Club - Follow Me (feat. Sara Diamond) [00:18:14]

06 The Prodigy - Timebomb Zone (from No Tourists) [00:21:13]

07 Omnia - CYBERPUNK (Extended Mix) (from CYBERPUNK) [00:24:32]

08 Otto Von Schirach & Doormouse - In the Name of Breakcore (from Breakcore Beefcakes) [00:29:09]

09 Stonebank - Ripped to Pieces (feat. EMEL) (from Ripped to Pieces) [00:31:31]

10 Ho99o9 - Mega City Nine (unknown virus 4.) (from Cyber Cop [Unauthorized MP3.]) [00:35:51]

11 Lost Kings - Phone Down (feat. Emily Warren) (Dodge & Fuski Remix) (from Phone Down (Remixes)) [00:38:05]

12 Clockwork - Surge (feat. Wynter Gordon) (Deorro Remix) (from Surge (Remixes)) [00:41:19]

13 FantomenK & meganeko - Crystal Tokyo (from Crystal Tokyo) [00:46:04]

14 Sullivan King - Dropkick (TYNAN Remix) (from Come One, Come All Remixes) [00:51:16]

15 Josh A & Iamjakehill - Suicidal Thoughts (from Better Off Dead) [00:54:59]

16 Stonebank - Be Alright (feat. EMEL) (from Be Alright (feat. EMEL)) [00:57:57]

17 Little Big - Faradenza (from Antipositive, Pt. 1) [01:02:51]

18 Sadhu - Loud Noises VIP (from Adventure Grime) [01:05:19]

19 Otto Von Schirach - Captive Earth People (from Captive Earth People) [01:08:59]

20 Snow Tha Product - Waste of Time (from Waste of Time) [01:12:04]

21 M|O|O|N - Dust (from Particles) [01:15:22]

22 Terravita & Chime - Go Higher (feat. Akylla) (from Go Higher) [01:20:19]

23 Celldweller - The Imperial March (Pegboard Nerds Remix) (from The Imperial March (Pegboard Nerds Remix)) [01:24:31]

24 Ghost of a Gentleman - Smothered (from Empty Room) [01:28:52]

25 Bassnectar - Level Up (feat. Levit∆te & Macntaj) (from Unlimited) [01:33:45]

26 Ferry Corsten - Wherever You Are (Solis & Sean Truby Remix) (from Blueprint Remixed) [01:37:55]

27 Shirobon - Born Survivor (from Back Tracking) [01:41:58]

28 Chime - Double Jump (from Experience Points) [01:46:58]

29 Ruby My Dear - Croque Monsieur à Disneyland (from Brame) [01:49:28]

30 Jai Wolf - Like It’s Over (feat. MNDR) (from Like It’s Over (feat. MNDR)) [01:54:29]

31 Ghostemane - Bonesaw (from N / O / I / S / E) [01:59:39]

32 Dodge & Fuski - Substance Abuse (from Sucker Punch EP) [02:01:31]

33 Otto Von Schirach & Doormouse - Laser Barf (from Breakcore Beefcakes) [02:06:51]

34 Little Big - Dead Unicorn (from Funeral Rave) [02:10:44]

35 Shirobon - Golden Apples (from Golden Apples EP) [02:15:17]

36 Mux Mool - Get Better John (from Skulltaste) [02:18:24]

37 The Prodigy - We Live Forever (from No Tourists) [02:21:54]

38 Otto Von Schirach - Flying Saucer (from Captive Earth People) [02:25:34]

39 Shirobon - Fox (from Dimensions) [02:28:29]

40 Vampa - Chillin, Killin (from Chillin, Killin) [02:33:40]

41 Nostalghia - Kingdom of Disturb (from Imago) [02:37:10]

42 Heilung - Krigsgaldr (from Lifa) [02:43:34]

43 Me - Words Falling (from My Face Hole) [02:53:22]