Monday Morning Aural Sex: 2019-07-01 (Rave Review Retrospective Edition)

The show must go ooooooon, muthafuckaaaaas! Welcomemoclew to another enthralling, nipple-calcifying edition of Monday Morning Aural fuckin’ Sex! This week, I have kept the promise I made last week, and I thus deliver to you and your eager, throbbing ear sphincters: the Rave Review Retrospective Edition! What in the upside-down-quadratic fuck is that supposed to mean? Let’s discuss…

 

*ahem*

 

My father started a freelance audio/video production company called Rave Review Productions sometime in the early-to-mid 90s, and even at the tender age of 11-years-old, I was helping him out with technical work such as camera operation, PA setup, mixing board operation, et-fuckin’-cetera. Know what that means? Yeah, I’ve been at this shit for 23 years on and off. Couldn’t do much for the business when I was in college and all, but I pretty much took over when I returned to Jersey in 2012, and then fully took over when my dad passed in early 2014.

 

Lemme tell ya, perverts and pervettes, the past few decades have been filled with all sorts of adversity in regards to my age and appearance. I happen to believe (and seemingly quite logically, I might add) that neither age nor appearance can determine anyone’s technical ability. Regardless, I heard about all sorts of people saying things like, “How can a kid actually operate a camera (or mixing console)? He’s bound to screw it up!”

 

When I got older, and started exploring alternative styles of clothing and body modification, I was forever being told to censor myself for the sake of professionalism. Can anyone fucking explain to me how my style of dress, the color of my hair, the piercings in my ears, lips, nose, etc. have any fucking effect on my ability to do a good job? It’d be one thing if I looked dirty, or another if I smelled bad, which I’m assuming have never been issues. I consider myself pretty fucking good at what I do, and I’ve been told as much plenty of times. It’s one aspect of my life about which I can afford to be immodest. Not to say I know everything, of course.

 

I’m always learning, but my aesthetic no more determines my professionalism than Cheeto fucking Shitler’s capacity to construct even a marginally coherent fucking sentence determines his ability to (somehow) be elected Resident. *sigh* Anyway, I digress. I have competently run this business for 5 years in the wake of my father’s passing, but the clients fell away one after another, and just a few months ago, our business van’s brakes went absolutely kaput. Actually happened while I was in it, and on a downward slope. Fun story. Had to steer into oncoming traffic and dodge two vehicles, pass through a 5-way intersection (somehow) with no other traffic passing through, and settled on an adjacent upward slope so that I could park and wait for a tow. Only found out later that the goddamn registration was expired, so I probably would’ve faced some serious legal bullshit had I actually hit anyone or anything.

 

So yeah, the repairs were estimated at something like $2500-3000, and that’s more money than Rave Review will even make this year, sooooo fuck that. To be perfectly honest, while I’m a little melancholic about the whole thing, seeing as it’s the end of an era, I’m mostly relieved. Doing work for Rave Review was often rather physically and psychologically demanding. I found myself fighting crippling anxiety months before show dates, simply because I didn’t want to cart all the goddamn heavy shit around, set it up, run the show and/or rehearsals, tear it down and then toss it all back in storage. Never even mind all the fucking bullshit troubleshooting I had to do before (and during) shows. Never even mind how the FCC was pulling our livelihood out from under us by selling off frequency bandwidth in the same range as our wireless lavalier microphones.

 

Those lavaliers were basically our foundation. See, we mostly did theatrical productions which relied on body microphones called lavaliers, and when the FCC sold off those frequency bands, it essentially became pointless (not to mention illegal) to use microphones that operated within certain frequency ranges. Pointless because of the damn near inevitable interference we would get (pops, clicks, loud static feedback, etc.), and illegal because the bandwidths were sold to emergency services like law enforcement, firefighters, you know. To further elaborate, the older Sennheiser G2 models, a good portion of our arsenal were only operational between 700-750 MHz. Those microphones became useless back in 2012-2013. Only just last year, they did the same thing for the 600-650 MHz range, but this time they sold them to television networks for some reason. What all that means is that we went from having 40 something operational microphones to having maybe about 12. If there is a way to reprogram them to different frequency bands, I’m completely unaware of it, and I’m almost 100% sure it’s impossible. Either that, or it would require a great deal of disassembly, unsoldering, resoldering, reassembly, etc. I don’t have the fucking patience for that trash, nor do I have the clients to make it worthwhile anymore. We’ve also not made anywhere near the amount of money it’d require to just buy new microphones within the 500 MHz range.

 

Before anyone starts wondering, no, I didn’t lose all the clients because of that. I’m pretty sure only one opted to hire someone else because of that, and going from three clients to two was pretty much whatever. Not like that one extra client would’ve saved the business, but I’m pretty sure my dad’s clients just didn’t want to work with me for whatever fucking reason(s). Not even like I wanted the damn business to be saved, though. I told my dad even as far back as my mid-teens that I had no intention of making Rave Review into my career.

 

Even back in the late 90s, we had done so many utterly horrendous productions (children’s productions, I might add) that my sanity could scarcely withstand the idea of enduring a lifetime of shit like that. That’s one of the big reasons why I went to college for audio engineering, by the way. I knew that I loved the technical aspects of audio, not to mention the creative aspects, but I wanted a job where I didn’t have to schlep around all my fucking gear. Maybe that seems lazy to some of you, maybe it is, but my dad developed a number of health issues because of all his years doing shit like that. I don’t want to go down that same road.

 

So anyway, yeah, this fucking podcast. This is comprised of 4 and a half hours of music that I actually rather enjoyed throughout my two decades of providing sound for musical theater. A lot of it comes from productions we did with a theater group called The Garage, whose founder (Michael Bias) is a longtime family friend. Michael and my dad got along rather well for at least 20 some odd years, and probably largely due to the fact that they were both ex-hippies. Or maybe hippies in disguise. Or maybe not disguise so much as… evolved? I don’t fuckin’ know. I do know that The Garage productions were actually quite good, especially as opposed to the slew of garbage we did all over northern NJ. In case you might be wondering about the inclusion of songs by The Who and The Beatles, The Garage actually did productions of Tommy and Sgt. Pepper.

 

In fact, 8 out of the 26 different musicals from whose soundtracks I compiled this podcast were done by The Garage, and I even had small roles in their productions of Little Shop and Wizard of Oz when I was like 5 or 6 years old. Coincidentally, I was a small person with small roles, including being part of the Lollipop Guild: one of the groups of Munchkins who welcomed Dorothy to Oz. Yo, it took me for-fuckin’-ever to eat that goddamn lollipop after the show had long since wrapped up. No idea why, but there ya go. Random facts about yours fuckin’ truly.

 

Speaking of which, I actually did a bit of acting myself, although it wasn’t with The Garage. One of the most hilarious roles was Lank from Crazy For You. My mom directed it, and because it was a middle-school production, we were all horny little bastards. We drove her crazy (haha, see what I did there?) missing our cues, talking backstage, etc. Anyway, plenty of stories about that experience, but I also played Charles Dickens in two different productions of A Christmas Carol, I played Schroeder in You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown, and I played the Prince in Romeo & Juliet.

 

Anyway, moving on, I should mention that there are a number of shows that I flat out vetoed because I cannot fucking stand them anymore. I can’t stand watching them, doing sound for them, hearing music from them, fucking anything. Annie comes to mind immediately, but others include Grease, Fiddler on the Roof, The Sound of Music, High School Musical, Hairspray, Godspell, Little Mermaid, Frozen, and the list goes on and fuckin’ on. I actually tried sifting through the soundtracks of Grease and Sound of Music thinking I might have missed something worth including, and no. Really just done with all that crap.

 

Aside from that, I want to mention that my dad played Captain Hook in Peter Pan, which is why I included only the pirate songs from that show. I should ALSO fuckin’ mention that some of these songs come from movie soundtracks either because I couldn’t (or didn’t care to) find Broadway versions on Spotify, or I just preferred the movie soundtrack versions. AL-FUCKING-SO, that Julie London track, “Bidin’ My Time,” is (as far as I fuckin’ know) originally from Crazy For You, but I prefer her version. The Manson track is only there because of its usage of the dialogue from Willy Wonka, and I did a little somethin’ special with all that. You’ll have to listen and hear it for your damn selves.

 

Jesus fuckin’ jumping jack jizz in a gym sock Christ, this intro is becoming a goddamn novel. So, let me wrap this up and say that I have a ton of anecdotes to go along with these tracks. If by some wild fucking out-of-this-universe chance you’re actually curious to hear any of those, let me know and I’ll be happy to share.

 

Aaaaaand, with that, we now commence ze yojne!

 

 

01 Michelle Weeks, Tisha Campbell, Tichina Arnold, Ellen Green, Rick Moranis - Skid Row (Downtown) (from Little Shop Of Horrors OST) [00:07:27]

 

02 Rick Moranis, Michelle Weeks, Tichina Arnold, Tisha Campbell, The Do Wops - Da-Doo (from Little Shop Of Horrors OST) [00:11:39]

 

03 Steve Martin, Michelle Weeks, Tichina Arnold, Tisha Campbell - Dentist! (from Little Shop Of Horrors OST) [00:13:01]

 

04 Levi Stubbs, Rick Moranis, Michelle Weeks, Tichina Arnold, Tisha Campbell - Feed Me (Git It) (from Little Shop Of Horrors OST) [00:15:27]

 

05 Levi Stubbs, Michelle Weeks, Tichina Arnold, Tisha Campbell - Suppertime (from Little Shop Of Horrors OST) [00:18:48]

 

06 Billy Bletcher, Pinto Colveg, Harry Stanton - The Lollipop Guild (from The Wizard of Oz OST) [00:20:46]

 

07 The Munchkins - We Welcome You to the Munchkin Land (from The Wizard of Oz OST) [00:21:11]

 

08 Irene Cara - Fame (from Fame OST) [00:21:50]

 

09 Irene Cara - Out Here on My Own (from Fame OST) [00:26:59]

 

10 Laura Dean, Irene Cara, Paul McCrane, Traci Parnell, Eric Brockington - I Sing the Body Electric (from Fame OST) [00:30:06]

 

11 Venustra K. Robinson, Diane Lane, Josie de Guzman, Randy Ruiz, Ray Contreras - Minnesota Strip / Song of a Child Prostitute (from Runaways (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [00:35:03]

 

12 Karen Evans - To the Dead of Family Wars (from Runaways (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [00:38:21]

 

13 Julie London - Bidin’ My Time (from Easy Does It) [00:41:51]

 

14 Kirby Ward, Jeremy Harrison, Vanessa Leagh-Hicks, Helen Way, Crazy for You Ensemble (London) - Slap That Bass (from Crazy for You (Original London Cast Recording)) [00:45:41]

 

15 Ruthie Henshall - Someone to Watch Over Me (from Crazy for You (Original London Cast Recording)) [00:50:46]

 

16 Kirby Ward - They Can’t Take That Away From Me (from Crazy for You (Original London Cast Recording)) [00:54:26]

 

17 Amanda Prior, Shawn Scott - Naughty Baby (from Crazy for You (Original London Cast Recording)) [00:57:00]

 

18 The Jud Conlon Chorus - A Pirate’s Life (from Peter Pan OST) [01:00:33]

 

19 Julian Forsythe, Stuart Pendred, Marcus Allen Cooper, Mark Slama - Pirate March (from Peter Pan (Original Broadway Cast Recording 1997)) [01:01:02]

 

20 Paul Schoeffler, Julian Forsythe, Stuart Pendred, Marcus Allen Cooper, Mark Slama - A Princely Scheme (Hook’s Tango) (from Peter Pan (Original Broadway Cast Recording 1997)) [01:02:06]

 

21 Paul Schoeffler, Julian Forsythe, Stuart Pendred, Marcus Allen Cooper, Mark Slama - Another Princely Scheme (Hook’s Tarantella) (from Peter Pan (Original Broadway Cast Recording 1997)) [01:03:17]

 

22 Paul Schoeffler, Julian Forsythe, Stuart Pendred, Marcus Allen Cooper, Mark Slama - Hook’s Waltz (from Peter Pan (Original Broadway Cast Recording 1997)) [01:04:29]

 

23 The Who, Andy Macpherson, Jon Astley - Amazing Journey (Remixed Album Version) (from Tommy) [01:08:33]

 

24 The Who, Andy Macpherson, Jon Astley - Pinball Wizard (Original Album Version) (from Tommy) [01:11:58]

 

25 Susan Watson - How Lovely To Be A Woman (from Bye Bye Birdie (Original Broadway Cast)) [01:14:54]

 

26 Susan Watson, Jessica Albright, Sharon Lerit, Chita Rivera - One Boy (from Bye Bye Birdie (Original Broadway Cast)) [01:17:24]

 

27 Paul Lynde - Kids (from Bye Bye Birdie (Original Broadway Cast)) [01:20:06]

 

28 Robert Preston - Ya Got Trouble (from The Music Man (Original Broadway Cast)) [01:21:34]

 

29 Barbara Cook, Pert Kelton - Piano Lesson (from The Music Man (Original Broadway Cast)) [01:25:20]

 

30 Barbara Cook - Goodnight My Someone (from The Music Man (Original Broadway Cast)) [01:27:15]

 

31 Robert Preston - The Sadder-But-Wiser Girl For Me (from The Music Man (Original Broadway Cast)) [01:29:57]

 

32 Josie de Guzman, Peter Gallagher - I’ll Know (from Guys and Dolls (New Broadway Cast Recording (1992))) [01:31:35]

 

33 Faith Prince, Tina Marie DeLeone, Denise Faye, JoAnn M. Hunter, Nancy Lemenager, Greta Martin, Pascale Faye - A Bushel and a Peck (from Guys and Dolls (New Broadway Cast Recording (1992))) [01:36:28]

 

34 Walter Bobbie, J.K. Simmons - Guys and Dolls (from Guys and Dolls (New Broadway Cast Recording (1992))) [01:39:32]

 

35 Peter Gallagher - My Time of Day (from Guys and Dolls (New Broadway Cast Recording (1992))) [01:42:27]

 

36 Josie de Guzman, Peter Gallagher - I’ve Never Been in Love Before (from Guys and Dolls (New Broadway Cast Recording (1992))) [01:44:25]

 

37 Peter Gallagher, Guys and Dolls Ensemble - Luck Be a Lady (from Guys and Dolls (New Broadway Cast Recording (1992))) [01:46:28]

 

38 Evan Pappas - Larger Than Life (from My Favorite Year (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [01:49:27]

 

39 Evan Pappas, Lannyl Stephens - Shut Up and Dance (from My Favorite Year (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [01:54:10]

 

40 Tim Curry - If the World Were Like the Movies (from My Favorite Year (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [01:58:07]

 

41 Tom Mardirosian, Tim Curry, My Favorite Year Ensemble - The Gospel According to King (from My Favorite Year (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [02:01:58]

 

42 Stacy Francis, Kathy Deitch, Rosalind Brown - Somebody’s Eyes (from Footloose: The Musical (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [02:03:39]

 

43 Dee Hoty, Catherine Cox - Learning to Be Silent (from Footloose: The Musical (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [02:07:55]

 

44 Jennifer Laura Thompson, Stacy Francis, Rosalind Brown, Kathy Deitch - Holding Out For A Hero! (from Footloose: The Musical (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [02:10:27]

 

45 Jeremy Kushnier, Jennifer Laura Thompson - Almost Paradise (from Footloose: The Musical (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [02:13:41]

 

46 The Beatles - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds (from Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Remastered)) [02:16:57]

 

47 The Beatles - She’s Leaving Home (from Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Remastered)) [02:20:23]

 

48 The Beatles - Within You Without You (from Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Remastered)) [02:23:55]

 

49 Ilana Levine - Schroeder (from You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown (New Broadway Cast Recording (1999))) [02:28:57]

 

50 Roger Bart, Ilana Levine, Kristin Chenoweth - Snoopy (from You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown (New Broadway Cast Recording (1999))) [02:30:54]

 

51 The Pirates of Penzance - I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General (from The Pirates of Penzance) [02:34:03]

 

52/53 Gene Wilder/Marilyn Manson - The Wondrous Boat Ride/Prelude (The Family Trip) (from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory/Portrait of an American Family) [02:39:55/02:42:06]

 

54 Oompa Loompa Cast - Oompa Loompa (from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory) [02:43:27]

 

55 Lynn Ahrens, Stephen Flaherty, Kevin Chamberlin, Anthony Blair Hall - Alone In The Universe (from Seussical (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [02:44:23]

 

56 Jerry Dixon, Raúl Esparza, Amy Spanger - Real Life (from tick, tick…BOOM!) [02:49:10]

 

57 Raúl Esparza, Jerry Dixon, Amy Spanger - See Her Smile (from tick, tick…BOOM!) [02:52:26]

 

58 Jennifer Mesce - Come To Your Senses (Live (I actually mixed this one)) (from tick, tick…BOOM! (Stage Presence, Inc. 2006)) [02:55:37]

 

59 Lea Michele, Jonathan Groff - The Word Of Your Body (from Spring Awakening (Original Broadway Cast Recording (2006))) [03:00:01]

 

60 Lilli Cooper, Lauren Pritchard, Brian Johnson, Jonathan B. Wright, Gideon Glick, Skylar Astin, John Gallagher, Jr., Jonathan Groff - The Dark I Know Well (from Spring Awakening (Original Broadway Cast Recording (2006))) [03:02:55]

 

61 Lea Michele, Jonathan Groff, Brian Johnson, Jonathan B. Wright, Gideon Glick, Skylar Astin, John Gallagher, Jr., Lilli Cooper, Lauren Pritchard, Phoebe Strole, Remy Zaken - The Guilty Ones (from Spring Awakening (Original Broadway Cast Recording (2006))) [03:05:58]

 

62 Jonathan Groff, Brian Johnson, Jonathan B. Wright, Gideon Glick, Skylar Astin, John Gallagher, Jr., Lea Michele, Lilli Cooper, Lauren Pritchard, Phoebe Strole, Remy Zaken - Left Behind (from Spring Awakening (Original Broadway Cast Recording (2006))) [03:09:23]

 

63 John Gallagher, Jr., Lea Michele, Jonathan Groff - Those You’ve Known (from Spring Awakening (Original Broadway Cast Recording (2006))) [03:13:37]

 

64 Jonathan Groff, Brian Johnson, Jonathan B. Wright, Gideon Glick, Skylar Astin, John Gallagher, Jr., Lea Michele, Lilli Cooper, Lauren Pritchard, Phoebe Strole, Remy Zaken - Totally Fucked (from Spring Awakening (Original Broadway Cast Recording (2006))) [03:18:01]

 

65 Lauren Pritchard, Brian Johnson, Jonathan B. Wright, Gideon Glick, Skylar Astin, John Gallagher, Jr., Jonathan Groff, Lea Michele, Lilli Cooper, Phoebe Strole, Remy Zaken - The Song Of Purple Summer (from Spring Awakening (Original Broadway Cast Recording (2006))) [03:21:12]

 

66 Alysha Umphress, Jay Armstrong Johnson - Come up to My Place (from On The Town (New Broadway Cast Recording)) [03:24:35]

 

67 Tony Yazbeck - Lonely Town Choral (from On The Town (New Broadway Cast Recording)) [03:28:04]

 

68 Jackie Hoffman, Megan Fairchild - Carnegie Hall Pavane (from On The Town (New Broadway Cast Recording)) [03:29:57]

 

69 Anything Goes New Broadway Cast Ensemble - There’s No Cure Like Travel / Bon Voyage (from Anything Goes (New Broadway Cast Recording)) [03:32:44]

 

70 Sutton Foster - I Get a Kick out of You (from Anything Goes (New Broadway Cast Recording)) [03:34:35]

 

71 Rosario Dawson, Taye Diggs, Idina Menzel, Jesse L. Martin, Adam Pascal, Tracie Thoms, Anthony Rapp, Wilson Jermaine Heredia - Seasons of Love (from Rent OST) [03:36:57]

 

72 Adam Pascal, Rosario Dawson - Light My Candle (from Rent OST) [03:39:55]

 

73 Rosario Dawson - Out Tonight (from Rent OST) [03:44:02]

 

74 Wayne Wilcox, Adam Pascal, Aaron Lohr, Cast of the Motion Picture Rent - Life Support (from Rent OST) [03:47:53]

 

75 Aaron Lohr, Wayne Wilcox, Cast of the Motion Picture Rent - Will I (from Rent OST) [03:48:47]

 

76 Adam Pascal, Rosario Dawson - I Should Tell You (from Rent OST) [03:51:28]

 

77 Jesse L. Martin, Tracie Thoms, Cast of the Motion Picture Rent - I’ll Cover You (Reprise) (from Rent OST) [03:54:16]

 

78 Adam Pascal, Rosario Dawson - Without You (from Rent OST) [03:57:52]

 

79 Adam Pascal - Your Eyes (from Rent OST) [04:02:01]

 

80 Cast of the Motion Picture Rent - Finale B (from Rent OST) [04:04:33]

 

81 Maury Yeston, Larry Keith, Alma Cuervo, Kevin Stites - Still (from Titanic: The Musical (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) [04:07:03]

 

82 Johnny Depp, Lilla Crawford - Hello, Little Girl (from Into the Woods OST) [04:09:28]

 

83 Lilla Crawford - I Know Things Now (from Into the Woods OST) [04:11:55]

 

84 Anna Kendrick, James Corden, Lilla Crawford, Daniel Huttlestone - No One Is Alone (from Into the Woods OST) [04:13:57]

 

85 Anthony Warlow - I Need To Know (from Jekyll & Hyde: The Gothic Musical Thriller) [04:16:51]

 

86 Anthony Warlow - This Is The Moment (from Jekyll & Hyde: The Gothic Musical Thriller) [04:20:31]

 

87 Anthony Warlow - Confrontation (from Jekyll & Hyde: The Gothic Musical Thriller) [04:23:57]

 

88 Kevin Chamberlin, Female Ancestors - The Moon And Me (from The Addams Family (Original Cast Recording)) [04:27:37]

 

89 Company - Move Toward The Darkness (from The Addams Family (Original Cast Recording)) [04:30:36]