I Feel Something I Want To Be, Lesson One: Look at Me: Transmission 472, 2019 June 19
With this here transmission I am happy to announce that rarest of occasions, the beginning of a concept. Even better: I didn't know it at the time. On this night I thought I was merely doing an "observance," finally giving June 19 the proper treatment. I am embarrassed to find that I have made radio appearances on this date on two previous occasions; if we were in the mood, we might defend me by saying I was obligated to do "other things," whether it was to continue my segmented induction of Coil into the Hall of Legends or to give a friend airtime for his otherwise unaired music. But let's be honest: at best I was more naive, more delusional then.
So how would I describe myself now? Definitely more "willful." And on this night, four months ago? Definitely determined albeit aimless. Where the Detroit set came from I'll never really know; turns out it's a pretty musical city? Meanwhile I was openly refusing requests on this night, easily impressed with my best segues (which on the night were not great), and doing the best I could with my self-imposed limitations.
In the future, as this one-time thing turns out not to be, things will open up a bit, for better and for worse. A wobbly but successful opening salvo, in the battle against...I don't know, naivete? Surely part of my "unbroken former self" was the knowledge of who I was. Ultimately the journey of this program has to take us "back" there.
BOMBAST playlist, 2019 June 19, 2100-2300:
Our days of comfort, days of night
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