Daddy Issues - The Power a Father Has to Influence The Lives of His Children

I am blessed with two boys and two grandkids and my ultimate goal in life is to lead them to the Father through the Son. My focus is not that they become popular, wealthy, or attend the best universities, or land a dream job....NO... my only focus is to live a life that will cause them to thirst and hunger after God.

 - your actions speak so loudly that I can’t hear what you say - R. W. Emerson

1 John 3:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. (KJV)

Let me for a moment focus on dads, that doesn’t mean that I am underestimating the power of a mother. Women become moms the moment they find out they’re expecting, Men become dads the moment they carry the baby.

-  the power of a dad in a child’s life is unmatched

-  one hug from dad is worth 20 kisses from mom

-  who we are as dads speaks of who our children will become in the future

- your son will become like you

- your daughter will end up marrying someone like you

Men, you have the power to impact your children either for good or for bad, you words bless them or curse them, you have the power to lift them up or tear them down, you can either fill them hope or inundate their minds and hearts with despair

- I have set before you life or death, blessings and curses, choose life that you and your children may live (Deut 30:19)

- as a father you MUST have the mindset that being a father is your most important MINISTRY-

Prov 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (KJV)

You have such a small window of opportunity to impact their lives and to train them up (a child, not a young teen, not a young adult, a child)

- 0-11 trainer (coach)
- 12-18 counselor
- 19-rest of their lives advisor

Before you can “train them up” you must connect to their hearts. You can’t lead them by the hand it you haven’t earned their hearts.

- Do you care for me?
- Can I trust you?
- Can you help me?

Our example as parents can cause our children to draw close to God or simply run away from Him because their hearts are incredulous

Whatever we speak over our children, 80% of the time, will come to fruition. Our words are prophetic.

Avoid telling your child what he will become based on what you see in the natural or based on your own childhood traumas, your fears, failures, hurts, and hang ups.

1. If you sow seeds of defeat in the hearts of your children don’t expect them to walk in victory

2. sow seeds of neglect and watch them seek someone else’s attention

Three things kids need from their father

1. Words of Affirmation / Prov 18:21 - the tongue has power of life and death

2. Physical Touch / Luke 5:13 - Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.

3. Active Love / 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

It’s so much more difficult for a child to develop a relationship with the Heavenly Father when there is no apparent relationship with his earthly father.

- Oftentimes children will use their father’s relationship as a frame of reference through which they see God the Father.

4 ways to parent

1. Rules - Relationship = Rebellion

2. Relationship - Rules = Aggression

3. Absence = Desperation (a state of despair) (not quality over

   quantity)

4. Rules + Relationship = Blessings

Children are like arrows in the hands of a skilled warrior, blessed is the man whose quiver is filled with such arrows - Psalm 127:4-5

~You must first be a disciple before you can become a teacher~

Your kids should see you:

- worship

- pray

- repent

- study the Word

- love their mother

Four Basic Needs of a Son/Daughter

1. Love (1 Cor 8:1 “Love makes us strong”) 2. Security
3. Purpose
4. Acceptance

Heb 12:1 Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.