Harmonious Match

Harmonious Match

It’s sad to watch the dating commercials on television. Everyone has a perfect match or they are looking for that one person who they can find harmony with, and live happily ever after. It seems to me that much of the romance in the world happens by accident, and you just have to be in the right place at the right time. Helen Reddy said it this way, “There is no magic person out there, no perfect human being out there waiting for you.” Sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn’t. Can computer dating find the perfect person for you?

A sad statistic was revealed recently which show from 20 to 40 percent of those registered for online dating services were already married. The other sad statistic is that 70 percent of those who use computers have tried the online dating sites. Maybe they work for some people, but I’m too old to know anything about computer dating.

I’m from the old school where chance encounters and random events seemed to draw two people together. I could have attended three different colleges, but I could only meet my wife at one of them. She had to stay in school a little longer than usual so I could show up. We happened to be in a live stage musical together and became friends. We were in another show later during the year. We started dating the next summer when we had a class together. There are so many random events, I don’t know I can say it was fate for us to be together. It just happened to work out.

If you are a female and looking to attract that special guy, I have only one piece of serious advice. Don’t play coy; let the guy know you are interested. Pay attention to him; touch his elbow, his arm, his back. Speaking as a man, we are pretty dense, and unless we are practically hit over the head, we really don’t think anyone is interested in us.

If you don’t believe this little admonition, look around at all those guys you think are great looking arm in arm with a female you think is ugly. It’s the only way to explain it. I taught a guy who sat by the same two girls every class. I wondered if there was something serious going on, but the girl I thought would be his first choice lost out to the girl I thought was less attractive. How? She let him know she was interested, and once a man knows there is a possibility of a relationship, we are pretty much sunk.

Ogden Nash has a nice saying about marriage and incompatibility. He said, “A little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable.” That quote does give us a nice mental picture, and who is to say the rich man and the pattable woman can’t find perfect happiness together. Samuel Rogers has a warning for those who decide to marry. He said, “It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find the next morning that it is someone

else.” If you don’t believe this saying, just talk to anyone who has been together longer than 10 years. We can all change enough in 10 years to become a completely, totally unrecognizable person. My wife put our wedding picture up on the mantle recently, and I asked her to introduce me to the blond skinny guy she is next to in the picture. I told her that wasn’t me anymore. Luckily, she has adapted to the changes. Or as Nancy Astor said of marriage, “I married beneath me -- all women do.”

Honore de Balzac said it this way: “Marriage is the end of man.” It sure was the end of that man I was, and I have to tell you, I am a lot happier after 30 years of marriage than I was after being single for the first 20 years. It’s like Benjamin Franklin was talking to my wife when he said, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.” Speaking as a man with imperfections, I want to tell my wife how glad I am she keeps her eyes half-shut. I also like what Benjamin Franklin said about husbands, “One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they’re valued.” I just hope I fit into the “good husband” category.

As Helen Rowland put it, “When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.” I wish I was more attentive. But you may be more like Mae West. She said, “Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.” Maybe you aren’t either.

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