I AM VICTIM - breaking free from the the victim mentality by adopting a new identity

What is a Victim Mentality?

Victim mentality is a psychological term that refers to a type of dysfunctional mindset which seeks to feel persecuted in order to gain attention or avoid self-responsibility. People who struggle with the victim mentality are convinced that life is not only beyond their control, but is out to deliberately hurt them. This belief results in constant blame, finger-pointing, and pity parties that are fueled by pessimism, fear, and anger. The victim mentality is an acquired personality trait, meaning that it is the result of early life conditioning and coping mechanisms.

Why do some individual's like playing the victim? In their minds being a victim has its benefits, for instance:

• Not having to take responsibility for anything
• Other people lavishing you with attention
• Other people feeling sorry for you
• Other people are less likely to criticize or upset you
• You have the “right” to complain
• You’re more likely to get what you want
• You feel interesting because you get to tell people all of your stories
• You don’t have to feel bored because there’s too much drama going on
• You get to avoid and bypass anger because you’re too busy feeling sad

Playing the victim actually gives them a lot of power: power to avoid responsibility, power to feel “righteously” sad and persecuted, power to avoid uncomfortable emotions, and power to manipulate other people.

How to stop being the victim?

1. Start by replacing "you" with "I"
2. See yourself as a survivor
3. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself
4. Explore your mistaken beliefs
5. Ask, "what thought is creating this suffering?"
6. Practice being grateful
7. Affirm responsibility
8. Perform an act of kindness for someone else
9. Discover your new identity in Christ

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References

Sol, M. (2020, March 28). 23 Signs You’re Suffering From a Victim Mentality ⋆. LonerWolf. https://lonerwolf.com/victim-mentality/