Today we want to talk about preparing your teens for relationships in their lives that will have significant impacts in their lives.
Primary relationships
- First love and dating - Boyfriends/girlfriends
- Friendships that will define their lives
- Other mentors or outside influences – teachers, coaches, friend’s parents
What boundaries do you put in place as parents?
- Based on age, maturity level?
- Rules without relationship equals rebellion.” Those rules could be very strict guidelines or suffocating restrictions that essentially create a prison for your kids and outside relationships can easily be seen as an escape from that prison you created.
- Very important to look in the mirror as a parent and see why you set those rules. Many times, it’s because you went through some hurt in your past and don’t want your child to go through that hurt - which is noble, but can often times cause more damage.
Where to plug your kids into to find the right kinds of friends and potential dating relationships
- School, church, sports teams
Encourage debate and discussion at home, but ultimately as a parent, you have the final say in many matters.
Dating Relationships
- How much do you let them get hurt? – Teach them to guard their heart.
- Meet the teen they are interested in dating and their parents if possible.
- Open communication – these are not one time conversations. There needs to be a level of trust and understanding that you establish with your teen so they know without a doubt that their parent is always a safe place, a listening ear and their go to for guidance.
- If they’re on the recurring end of unhealthy behavior – know when and how to step in. Better yet – have this conversation with your teen ahead of time so they’re aware of what unhealthy behavior consists of. It’s important they already know their boundaries and can confidently step away from a toxic relationship.
Social Media
- Lastly let’s talk about the impact of Social Media – differences today. The social landscape has changed (snap chat, tick tock, tinder, etc…) and how teens connect, communicate or build social circles has changed with it. As parents, it’s important to monitor these forms of communication because it gives teens easy access to one another.
- Social Media has made it easy to let your guard down emotionally as you don’t have to see someone in person and manage that emotional connection – it’s easy to hurt someone online and be hurt