The weekly column of late journalist Erma Bombeck appeared in many newspapers across the country, and she got many letters from her readers. One letter she received came from an anguished mother who wrote:
“Even though the courts have given up on my son, I have not. He’s my son; how can I give up on him? I pray for him; I cry for him; I encourage him. And, above all, I love him.”
A twelve-year-old girl once wrote to Bombeck saying:
“I am a substitute mom. When my mom is working, I babysit my little brothers and sisters. I do everything a real mom does. But, instead of thanking me, my brothers and sisters hate me. When I grow up, I don’t ever want to be a real mom. It’s the worst job in the whole world.”
Indeed, being a parent or child in a family isn’t always easy. The Gospels show us that even the Holy Family wasn’t free from difficulty. Mary and Joseph suffered when they discovered Jesus was missing and when they found him, Mary said to Jesus, “Why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.”
Jesus answered: “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” And how did Mary respond to that answer? She didn’t confront Jesus. She didn’t press him for an explanation. The Gospel says, “[Mary] did not understand what He said… [So she] kept all these things in her heart.”
Erma Bombeck wrote, “I suppose every child remembers some special virtue their mother has — some piece of wisdom that has saved them from disaster or a word that made the path infinitely easier.” She said, “I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.”
It takes a lot of self-control and wisdom to know when to stay silent. But often, silence does speak louder than words.
If Mary’s role in the Holy Family was challenging, consider Joseph’s role. A retreat master had just made this point in a retreat that he was conducting for fathers. He ended by saying, “Joseph is the perfect model for all of us.”
Afterward, a father came up to him and said, “Joseph’s situation was different from that of ordinary fathers. He was a saint, his wife was sinless, and his son was the Son of God. That’s not like us at all.”
The retreat master said, “What you say is true but was your wife with child before you got married without you knowing who the father was? Or did you ever lose your son and not know where he was? These things happened to Joseph and many more things that you struggle with every day, but he was always faithful to the call of God.”
The point is clear. Not even the holiest family on earth is immune from struggle, but struggling is not always bad; it can become a blessing if we accept it correctly. It can bring us closer to God. People often become closer to God through their struggles, not because God causes them, but because God will always help us work through our difficulties if we turn to Him and ask for help. God may not take away our suffering, but He is willing to be by our side, giving us the courage to walk through the darkness and find the light of His love and compassion.+
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