Episode 45: Why is my kid obsessed with watching others play video games?

Is your kid obsessed with watching other people play video games? What is up with that? Listen in for a few insights to help you tame your frustration with this!

 

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 FULL TRANSCRIPTION:

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Does it drive you crazy when your kiddo is just sitting, watching a video of someone else play a game? Does that just like drive you crazy? Because it makes no sense to you? Well, today we are going to talk about that and explore how we deal with this. Okay.

Speaker 2 (00:17):

Stay tuned. Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson. Holy moly. Check this out. If you are a mom

Speaker 1 (00:46):

And that is looking to give your kiddo a phone, but you don't want to open up the world of the smartphone to them yet. Check out the pinwheel phone. The pinwheel phone is the latest and greatest for dumb smartphones. It gives you absolute control over what they do and who they can contact, and we'll help them to develop healthy habits around using a phone, check out pinwheel@pennwell.com use code be that mom 10 for a discount. Okay, so let's talk about this for a quick second, because I know I am not the only parent that has been like, Holy cow, what is the deal with this? Why are they so obsessed with watching these videos of other people playing games? Like why don't they just play the game, right? Like, have you had those same thoughts? So I decided to do this podcast episode after having a conversation with a friend's husband and us, both having kids of similar ages and just talking about how frustrating it is to observe this and just not understanding it.

Speaker 1 (01:47):

And he was very vocal about it just being such a waste of time and it makes no sense to him. And I totally get that. Like I have totally been there in that frustration that seems to just keep climbing. Great. I've totally been there. So I get it. But what has helped me in this realm is to take a step back and to just kind of think about what exactly is going on here and try to understand it from their perspective, because we all know that we didn't grow up with all these digital things and they are growing up in a different reality than us. And so I think the least productive thing that we can do as parents is to just sit and criticize versus trying to understand. And so I think there's kind of three things going on here. Why one of the kids would sit and watch a video of someone else playing a video game.

Speaker 1 (02:40):

The first one is what I likened to when I was a kid, just kind of a side story here when I was a kid, me and my brother were on a bowling league was so much fun. I probably sound like a major nerd saying that now, but it was so much fun, but my grandpa played or, you know, it was like in a bowling league as an adult and was very much into the sport of bowling. And so when me and my brother would, you know, throw that first ball and then we would have the pin set up there, he would kind of give us pointers on where to stand and how to throw the ball in order to knock all of the pins down. It was all about strategy. It was about thinking through the movements and the motions and things in order to get, you know, to have success with the game.

Speaker 1 (03:27):

I think this is the same when it comes to football strategy, all kinds of sports strategy, there's always a strategy behind what you're doing. And I don't think that it's any different than someone sitting and watching a football game or a basketball game and not just watching it, but actually looking at the strategy behind their plays and their moves. Right? So that's what I think one reason kids enjoy this. If, you know, especially the older ones, like the teenagers who were really into gaming and stuff is it's about strategy and skill. And they're watching someone with more experience play this game so they can get pointers on how to be successful with it. And I think it's a whole other can of worms to talk about our kids and gaming, which we can do another episode on that. I already have a list of things that I want to talk about with that.

Speaker 1 (04:12):

But skill and strategy, I think is one reason why they sit there and watch that now a younger kid, maybe not so much a younger kid may be the second reason that I think that they do it. And that is entertainment, you know, for the ones that are older or the gamers that they watch. A lot of times, if you listen to the gamers, they have a commentary going, they're kind of witty, there's an entertainment thing to it. So they have entertainment as they watch it, which I don't think is any different than us watching TV. Like I can sit for hours and watch the show, friends and laugh and enjoy watching it. Even though I have probably seen the entire series of friends episodes, I don't even know how many times, right? Like probably at least 50 times all the way through. And I still get enjoyment out of it because it makes me laugh.

Speaker 1 (05:00):

And I relate to that from my growing up years, friends came out when I was in college and it's just entertainment. It's something I really enjoy. Now my son, one time when I was listening or watching friends got up and was walking past and he goes, I don't understand how you find that this show. So funny and interesting, like to me, it seems boring. Like they're all just sitting around talking all of the time. So I think that was a lesson right there. Now what one finds entertaining, another one won't depending on your life experiences, what you enjoy, all of those things. And then the third reason that I think that a lot of kids will do it is to have connection and that could be connection with other friends in real life that watched the same thing or interested in the same thing, thinking about the same thing, trying to strategize a game, or, you know, simply just, Hey, I, uh, did Minecraft in such and such, did this, have you ever tried that right?

Speaker 1 (05:55):

Or the other way of is if it's some like big, big name person that has a big account and they comment on their video and in that person replying to them, that would be a, another form of connection. It would be exciting to them that, Oh my God, this person that has this many followers actually commented on my comment and liked it. Right. And I think that's a whole nother can of worms when it comes to the acceptance factor, the approval factor, the I'm enough factor, the self-esteem factor that comes in with that. And that's going to be another episode that I do that not is not necessarily ideal, right? Like this generation of getting into social media and then suddenly they feel like they're not enough. And they need approval of others. That type of thing. I don't think that that's necessarily a good thing all of the time, but in the case that we're talking about here, about someone just sitting and watching a video game, I think that that is part of what plays into it.

Speaker 1 (06:48):

So what do we do? Do we just sit here and let them watch videos all the time because has these factors behind it? And now we understand that I still think that we can set limits just like we do on watching TV. And I think that you could probably consider this, like watching TV, the screen time of watching TV. So again, I would put limits on that as far as like how much they can watch. And then also if they're younger, I would look at who they're listening to making sure like, what they're saying is what you want them to hear. Like, some of them may get a little bit, you know, say like cuss words and stuff like that. So I wouldn't just let them go a free for all and be like, Oh, okay. It's like watching TV, so I'll let them do it.

Speaker 1 (07:28):

I think it still requires you to kind of being the filter and approving what it is that they can watch and listen to. And of course, a younger kiddo, I would limit that time much, much smaller, you know, not allow them to do it as much and also be very much into figuring out what they are listening to because not all of them are G-rated right. So I hope that this is helpful for you in kind of calming some of the frustration around this phenomenon of watching other people play games. It helps me to make sense of it a little bit when I put myself into their shoes and try to figure it out from that standpoint. And so I do believe that these are the factors that have them interested in it. And if we can come from a place of understanding and acceptance, then it's certainly going to help our kids to be like stronger and built up versus us just breaking them down by criticizing them for having this desire to sit and watch video games. And I know a lot of parents will typically just sit and criticize and be like, I don't get it. It's so stupid. Why are you doing that all the time? But I think if we can come from the standpoint of trying to understand it in this respect, then it goes a long way to help our kids grow up, to be confident and strong and believe in themselves and all of those things. Okay. So I hope you found this helpful and I will chat with you next time.

Speaker 2 (08:48):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time.

Speaker 1 (09:02):

Hey there, before you go, I want to just give you a heads up on something. When things have been hardest in my role as a mom, the thing that was so very helpful for me was having a routine to take care of myself each day. I know that this whole thing around raising kids in a digital world is so very overwhelming. But if you have a place where you are taking care of yourself every single day with a simple routine that works despite where you are or what your schedule is, you will be able to be more present for your family and handle all of the ups and downs of this most amazing role that we could ever play in this world. So connect with me and let's get you connected to fitness and nutrition tools made by experts that will help you simplify this and then connect you with my fit club community that will support you, guide you and give you momentum and motivation to show up every day, take care of yourself first so that you could be better present for our digital native kids.