Walk Worthy / Week 6 / Our Words - Harmful or Helpful?

Our Words – Harmful or Helpful

Ephesians 4:29 February 21, 2021 MVC

I. Introduction:

A. When I was growing up, I spent close to ten years playing baseball in various

different level leagues. All those years I played the same position – catcher. I

loved catching for two reasons:

1. First, in many ways, you were at the center of the game as every pitch you

called determined the speed, location and curvature of the ball.

2. Secondly, if you know anything about catchers there other job was to get into

the head of the batter by trash talking and confusing them to throw them off.

3. Unfortunately, some of that trash talking has carried over into my Christian

life and those who know me best know it all too well!

B. The section of Ephesians we are in right now is talking about our lifestyle, that

our walk and yes even our talk is to be consistent with who we are in Christ as

those who have laid aside the old man and put on a new man, so lay aside the

former manner of living as well.

• Turn in your Bibles to Ephesians 4:29. Last week we looked at the area of anger,

today we are going to look at

II. Our words

A. Read to Ephesians 4:29

B. Words are extremely powerful! Words are like a double-edged sword! They can

either build up or tear down, help or hurt, give life or take life from people.

Proverbs makes this very clear:

1. Proverbs 12:18 – either the thrust of a sword into someone’s soul or healing

2. Proverbs 15:4 – can be a tree of life or crush the spirit

3. Proverbs 16:24 – pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and

healing to the bones. A few verses later, it says a worthless man’s words are

like scorching fire.

4. Proverbs 18:21 that tells us “death and life are in the power of the tongue…”

5. Bottom line, every time we speak there is great potential in what we say as

we will either build people up and help them or tear them down and hurt

them.

C. Do you realize how many opportunities we have each day to be a blessing to

someone else – whether it be our mates, children, grandchildren, fellow believers

in Christ, the lost, neighbors, co-workers, schoolmates, and strangers.

1. Research indicates the following statistics about the number of words women

and men speak. The average woman speaks 20,000 words a day. The average

man speaks 7,000 words a day. Whether you speak more or less than the

average the point is we use a lot of words so there are a lot of opportunities

to either help or hurt those around us

2. Many of us are looking for opportunities to minister to others. This may be

our greatest ministry opportunity that we have day in and day out – our words

to those around us!

3. Every word we speak matters because every word we speak can become a

gift to those we are around, every word can literally become a ministry to the

people God puts in our paths!

• So let’s look at bit closer at

III. Ephesians 4:29

A. Ephesians 4 teaches us that not even one unwholesome word should come out of

our mouths!

1. Read Ephesians 4:29a

2. Unwholesome means -it is harmful and corrupting

3. Unwholesome words add no value to someone’s life, they are death

producing – they take life rather than give it

B. On the other hand, it teaches us that the only words we are to speak – are words

that are good for edification

1. Read 4:29b

2. Edify means – increase or build some one up. Words that will strengthen

others and make someone more able to handle what they are going through!

C. According to the need of the moment –

1. Read 4:29c

2. That means we need to be sensitive to what is going on in that person’s life at

that very moment.

3. We must realize that people have different needs and they are at different

places in their spiritual journey.

a) The specific need of one person is different from the specific need of

another so that means the specific word of grace and truth that a one

person needs may be different from what another person needs!

b) Side bar – best way to know someone’s need is by listening to them.

Listening is the way we take an MRI of someone else’s soul.

4. Listen to these proverbs that talk about the value of a right word being

spoken at the right time or circumstances

a) Proverbs 25:11– apples of gold in settings of silver, earring of gold

b) Proverbs 15:23 – gives joy and delight when timely

c) Proverbs 24:26 – when the right word is said to the right person it is like

giving them a kiss

D. Finally, we learn that these kinds of words through us become God’s gift to other

people.

1. Read v29d

2. Grace is basically God’s gift to us

3. Brothers and sisters, as believers in Christ that have put off the old way of

talking and put on the new, we should be focusing upon how we can use our

words to give the people that are around us the gift of a kiss from God with a

right word spoken in a timely fashion!

• So what do we do with all of this?

II. Application

A. Know God’s word well especially the gospel! Why?

1. Because there are no words we can speak that are more powerful and life

giving than God’s Word itself or words that have been shaped by God’s

Word! That is true both for a believer and non-believer

2. But do not be a believer who is like the person who walks in the room and

just shoots off his Bible verse machine gun thinking he is serving God and

helping others.

3. Instead, be a sharp shooter who knows the perfect moment to bring the

perfect word that will build someone up and help them endure what they are

going through.

4. Let me say it again – to do this well we need to learn first to listen well. if

you are not a good listener then you will never be a sharp shooter in God’s

army

B. Prayerfully depend upon the Spirit of God to give you the words to speak rather

than your own best ideas of what you should speak.

1. Jesus said He did not speak a word unless the Father told him to speak it

John 12:49

2. Listen to the Old Testament foretelling of Jesus heart regarding His words.

Read Isaiah 50:4a

C. We in North America we take pride in being radically honest about what is going

on in our hearts with no concern how it impacts others.

1. However, I think Ephesians 4:29 would tell me to be honest but sensitive!

Have understanding of that person, their situation and needs and how your

words would impact them.

2. Paul would call it speaking the truth in love; Jesus would call it being full of

grace and truth!

3. Read Proverbs 18:2 – the only thing a fool considers is speaking their own

mind!

D. Next, we need to think before we speak, about both our words and that person’s

situation! We need to understand the impact my words will have on them.

1. Listen to Proverbs 15:28

2. Proverbs 16:23

E. Key to changing your words is changing your heart – read Luke 6:45

1. Remember James 3:8 “no one” “no one” can tame the tongue

2. It is beyond human ability to control this sword in our mouths. This is not a

self-help message about the use of the tongue. This is a message that

demands that we turn to Jesus! The only one bigger than our tongue!

3. If you do not know Jesus – He is offering you a brand new heart and His

Spirit to live inside of that heart to empower and direct your whole life as

well as your tongue.

F. When you consider Ephesians 4:29 what grade would you give yourself regarding

your living out this verse over the last week? Which part of this verse and

today’s sermon do you need to give attention to this week to get a higher score

next week?

G. Pray