Ahoy there my sultry sea dogs! Wanna swap poop on my new deck that I pirated in the winter sails? (Am I doing Pirate correctly? Good!)
Ominously coming up alongside to pirate your ear-holes soon is Bristol's favourite son Edward Teach / Thretch / Thatch / INSERT REAL NAME HERE WHEN MORE LEARNED FOLK THAN OURSELVES SETTLE ON IT.
Known to landlubbers such as ourselves as Blackbeard!
Cannons will roar! Legs will be pegged! Stuff will get spliced!
In the meantime here's a song.
Outrageous plank walking fiddling by Kofi Young