🍕 “Quitaly” — Domino’s pie-rish exit. Disney’s streaming kingdom. Planet Fitness’ value.
🏀 "The $500M High School Jock" — Overtime Sports's teenager league. Sweetgreen's missing salad. Inflation's celebrity report.
🤮 “The Rent Is Too Damn Higher” — Housing’s spillover effect. Lyft’s backseat tablets. Videogames’ 1 step backward.
💰 “Lean Media gets Fat Checks” — Axios’ bullet point. The Climate Bill’s Tesla goal. Oatly’s martyr milk.
🦇 “Batgirl For Never” — DC Comics’ cancellation. Colleges’ merging. Amazon’s iRobot deal.
🧊 “Iced Hot Girl Walk” — Starbucks’ latte flywheel. Ford’s Jeep-killer. TikTok’s musical frenemy.
🏋️ “$50 gym fee” — Marriott’s suck-flation. Robinhood’s price problem. Molson’s draught divide.
💃 “The Wedding Crasher outfit” — Abercrombie’s perfect dress. Taiwan’s most important company. Boatsetter’s Airbnb-share.
⚡ “Big Drink Energy” — Celsius’ Pepsi deal. Bird’s Millennial scooter. GM’s White House meeting.
🐎 “Apple + Lamborghini = iCar rumors” — Apple’s Trojan Horse. BeReal’s selfie moment. TicketMaster’s Sprinsteen price.
🧴 “Lather my back, TJ” — Trader Joe’s $9 sunscreen. JetBlue’s boring-est flight. Our anti-Recession recession.
🌮 “RIP: Choco Taco” — Unilever’s Thin-flation. Puma’s 5th sport strategy. Chips’ love moment.
✊ “Make Insta Insta Again” — Kardashian’s Facebook protest. Glossier’s Sephora-man. Russia’s economic lie.
🎀 “The secret sauce to Pink Sauce” — Pink Sauce’s growth hack. Marvel’s superhero ROI. Weber’s broken grill.
🧸 “Elon’s 1st doll” — Mattel’s SpaceX fan-vestor. Coinbase’s 1st insider trading. Snapchat vs Amex.
🫁 “Bezos harvested my kidney” — Amazon’s One Medical catchup. FaZe Clan’s video gamer stock. AT&T’s phone-bill fiasco.
🥿 “I love your mules, dude” — Mule’s comfort economy. Amazon’s fake weeding. Fusion Nuclear’s hail mary pass.
🐔 “Nuggets 4 life” — KFC’s Window of Loyalty. Air Conditioner’s duct tape. Netflix’s stoooooop.
🐟 “The Barbra Streisand of Tuna” — Subway’s funa sandwich. Snapchat’s zoom-eater. Delta’s lost bag flight.
🐝 “BeyTok” — Beyonce’s TikTok. Wordle’s board game. Big Tech’s fear managers.
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