✏️ “Mr. Beyonce taught me Bitcoin” — Jay Z’s Crypto Academy. Spotify’s podcasting double-dip. Permian Basin’s whispering oil.
⛳ “Unhappy Gilmore” — Golf’s Saudi sportswashing. Jones Road’s micro makeup. Waymo’s truck brains.
🌮 “It’s got a taco elevator” — Taco Bell’s drive-thru supreme. Summer’s housing test-drive. Shopify’s new king.
🍬 “Fruity Pebbles Latte, please” — Nestle’s coffee creamer-copia. Palantir’s perfect pitch. Target’s fire sale.
🍷 “Rando Merlot vs Pricey Pinot” — Duckhorn’s Millennial wine thesis. Apple’s chicken/egg iMessage. Solar stocks’ dodgeball.
🍄🍌 “I drive a Mario Kart” — Nintendo’s magic kingdom. Poparazzi’s anti-Instagram. Jamie Dimon’s hurricane.
⛈ “It will rain at 3:18pm… in 1 year” - Salient’s super weather app. HP’s perfect conference room. Sheryl’s automation complication.
⛹️♂️ “Gucci, Prada, Lebron” — The NBA’s luxury love. Elon’s anti-remote rant. Delta’s summer upgrade.
👨🎤👨🎤👨🎤 “A Jonas Bro texted me nbd” — Jonas Brothers’ superfan startup. Top Gun’s popcorn payoff. Roomba’s brain strategy.
🔌 “How’s the battery range?” — Our electric car odyssey. Burger King’s worship brand. Baby Unicorns’ warning letter.
🕺 “Bringing Unsexy Back” — Justin Timberlake’s $100M music. Petco’s PUPPY. The NFL’s Football+
👚 “Moms popping collars” — Abercrombie’s nostalgia fire. Amazon’s Airbnb move. Glencore’s bribe rooms.
👑 “Kim Kardashian’s cool table” — Snapchat’s 40% ghosting. Beyond Meat’s Kim-bassador. Walmart’s drone championship.
🤪 “Billion-Dollar Bobblehead Dolls” — Funko’s bobblehead unicorn. Boston Beer’s weed teapot. Buy Now Pay Later’s disguise.
🥢 “Crazy Rich Weeeeeeeee” — Weee!’s ethnic food app. Carnival’s wedding cruises. Baby Formula’s 90% problem.
🪨 “The Rock’s football league” — The XFL’s 3rd try. Jamie Dimon’s anti-bonus. Marriott’s ad vacay.
🌮 “Uno. Dos. Taco.” — Duolingo’s language cafe. Target’s tumble. Women’s Soccer’s payday.
🍹 “Bachelorette by Uber” — Uber’s fun strategy. (in)Direct-to-Consumer. Google’s no clue office.
🦋 “Kendrick Lamar doesn’t Venmo” — Cash App’s rap battle. Bitcoin’s anti-bro. McDonald’s de-arching.
🐔 “#HoldTheDeal” — Elon’s Twitter buyer’s remorse. Beyond Meat’s jerky jerk. Sonos’ kinda smart speaker.
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