🪳“Twitter has termites” — Elon’s $44B excuse. Truff’s hot sauce $trategy. Uber’s secret files.
🌭 “The world’s cheapest wiener” — Costco’s hot dog strategy. SpaceX’s 1st yacht. HBO’s ad-pology.
😈 “Radio$#@&k” — RadioShack’s vulgar strategy. Virgin Galactic’s mothership. The end of online returns.
🧸 “40-year-old Lego master” — The Kidult toy economy. The Amazon GrubHub sweetener. The major questions doctrine.
🍽️ “It's a Tesla restaurant AND theater” — Tesla’s 1st diner/theater. Minions’ viral movie. Slutty Vegan’s $100M bun.
🍉 “HarryStyles+” — Apple’s concert strategy. College Sports’ super leagues. BlockFi’s 99% drop.
🍊 “Pamplemousse Problems” — LaCroix’s minivations. Zigazoo’s kindergarten app. Airplanes’ new bunk beds.
🥃 “An $816,748 gin-vestment” — Rare Whiskey’s record shot. Period Apps’ privacy power. TikTok’s new king.
🥳 “Party Pooper with a Purpose” — Airbnb’s canceled party. Olive Garden’s unlimited hiring breadstick. Rivian’s Adventure Network.
🍫 "M&Ms > Coke" — Mars' pet candy. The Great Latte House Lie. Russia’s debt default wingman.
🥔 “Proudly a Couch Potato” — La-Z-Boy’s Greek Mythology. Roku’s TVcommerce. Roe v Wade’s economics.
💀 “I speak to dead people” — Alexa’s dead grandma mode. Little Caesars' NFL pizza. Juul’s vape-ocalyps
⛱️ “Happy Gas Tax Vacation” — $0.18 cents off gas. Magic Spoon’s cereal revenge. The Obamas’ pod move.
🍿 “Snacks ate everything” — Kellogg’s disowns cereal. Chanel’s V-VIP store. Instagram’s TikTok zucking.
🌴 “Welcome to Amazon Resort” — Amazon’s luxe influencers. The Warriors’ software championship. Elon’s tweet-and-greet.
🔺🔴🟥 “Squid Game… but it’s real” – Netflix’s reality show. LEGO’s US factory. Jokr’s Millennial lifestyle.
⚽ “Going full Ted Lasso” — Apple’s $2.5B soccer deal. Miso’s robot army. The Fed’s huge punishment.
🥗 “Ronald slaughtered his salads” — McDonald’s people pleasing. NextDoor’s new neighbor. Florida’s “Real Zero” trademark.
🧠 “A robot that feels” — Google’s human-ish chatbot. Jack & Coke’s perfect fit. Celsius’ bad crypto apple.
✏️ “Mr. Beyonce taught me Bitcoin” — Jay Z’s Crypto Academy. Spotify’s podcasting double-dip. Permian Basin’s whispering oil.
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