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The Final Episode Of The Topical
Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce
Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird
Nation’s Arborists Once Again Urge Congress To Lower The Age Of Consent For Trees
Paleontologists Determine Dinosaurs Were Killed By Someone They Trusted
Team Of Vatican Geneticists Successfully Clone God
Nation’s Hypnotists Announce You Are Now Under Their Command
Deer Shot By Obsessed Fan
Dept. Of Homeland Security: ‘Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?’
Fun Toy Banned Because Of 3 Stupid Dead Kids
Congress Investigating Why Capitol Dome’s Atomic Vaporizing Ray Wasn’t Deployed To Eviscerate Rioters
UFC Announces Their Athletes Will Now Be Allowed To Fight Each Other Through The Court Of Law
Secret Service Agent Heroically Dives In Front Of Strong Breeze That Could Have Killed Biden
Biden Announces Nation Will Rejoin Paris Hilton Fan Club
New Erectile Dysfunction Startup Sends Ripped, Virile Man Directly To Your Door To Bang Your Spouse
Exhausted Researchers Inform Public Covid Vaccine Won’t Shrink You Down To Size Of Ant
Animal Shelter’s Free Adoption Day Not Even That Good Of Deal
Shocked Authorities Discover Dozens Of Bodies Being Kept In Hospital Morgue
Majority Of Young Children Go Missing The Moment Parent Turns Attention Toward Themself For One Goddamn Second
Report: Leading Cause Of Death Still Venturing Beyond The Pines
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