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Overwhelmed White Nationalist Militia Spread Way Too Thin Plotting Attacks Against Everyone Trump Wants
Election Night 2020: Trump Figures He’ll Go To Bed Early And Check Election Results Tomorrow
Election Night 2020: Nation Already Too Drunk To Follow Election Results
Election Night 2020: Middle School Basketball Team Told To Play Around Voters
Disgusted Election Officials Unable To Count Over 5 Million Ballots That Were Clearly Used As Napkins
Michigan Hopes To Increase Voter Turnout By Making It Legal To Cast Ballot By Stepping Outside And Shouting Candidate’s Name
Is Uniting The Country Possible? We Locked A Republican And A Democrat In A Room For A Week To Find Out
New Negative Campaign Ads Blast Voters Directly
American Populace Worried They’re Not Likeable Enough To Attract Good Candidate For President
Election Experts Worry Record Voter Turnout Could Make Nation Look Like A Bunch Of Dorks
Frustrated Political Scientist Patton Oswalt Attempts To Explain Gerrymandering Without Help Of Visual Aids
Health Experts Determine College Social Distancing Guidelines Still No Match For The Jasonator
Conservatives Hopeful SCOTUS Majority Will Bring Days Of On-Demand Cervical Cancer Detection To An End
High Crime Rate Leading More Inmates To Consider Moving Out Of Prison
Report: Friends Don’t Really Think Of You As Part Of Group
CDC Reclassifies Majority Of Covid-19 Deaths To Being Personally Murdered By Barack Obama
L’Oréal Introduces New Smudge-Proof Lipstick Able To Withstand Getting Hit By Bus
Scientists Discover Dangerous Link Between Book Learnin’, Back Talk
Finland Ended Homelessness: Why Trying To Show Us Up Like That Comes Off As Insecure
Report: Amtrak Loses $100 Million Annually To Route Interruptions Caused By Mustachioed Villains Tying Kidnapped Damsels To Railroad Tracks
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