f you don't tell me to do it, then it is your fault that it didn't get done. If you tell me to do it, then it is your fault if it doesn't go right.
Have you ever heard these words or experienced these attitudes? Covert narcissists are SO good at dodging responsibility.
I used to wonder why he wouldn’t even choose the restaurant for our dinner. Many years later, I discovered that he wouldn’t choose so that nothing could ever be his fault. Why would he not make the plans for our vacation? But yet he would be so mad at me for the plans I made. He would not make the plans so that nothing would ever be his fault. And yet he would be mad at me because everything was my fault.
He didn’t help do the chores around the house because he didn’t want to do it wrong and make me mad. So he just did nothing! In his mind, then I could not be mad at him because he didn’t do anything wrong.
Blame shifting is a common weapon for a covert narcissist. If you are listening to this today - stop taking the blame for their faults. Stop taking responsibility for their stuff. You are not doing them or yourself any favors. They have their life to live. They have their own to answer for. Don’t let them lay this on your shoulders anymore!!
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
Financial Abuse Disguised as Compassion
Exploring a Different Perspective of Codependency with Ross Rosenberg
Scapegoating and Financial Abuse from a Covert Narcissist
The Emotional Dysregulation of a Covert Narcissist
Removing Trauma From the Body (Special Throwback Episode)
The Isolating Dynamics of a Covert Narcissistic Relationship
Grasping Covert Narcissism (Special Throwback episode)
Our Kids Suffer When We Suffer
The World Enables Covert Narcissists Guest episode with Sarene Leeds
How do I move forward? Q&A with Eleanor Marks
It’s a Yo-Yo Relationship
7 Ways that a Covert Narcissist Reacts
Tackling Tough Questions with Eleanor Marks
Are compassion and empathy the same?
Guest episode with Brandon Chadwick from Narcissist Apocalypse
3 Effects of Covert Narcissistic Parenting
Covert Narcissistic Parents are Bullies
Stopping the Self-Doubt to Become Narcissist Resilient
Victims Often Join the Abuse Themselves ( Special Throwback Episode)
The Terrifying Narcissistic Traits in Our Children
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