f you don't tell me to do it, then it is your fault that it didn't get done. If you tell me to do it, then it is your fault if it doesn't go right.
Have you ever heard these words or experienced these attitudes? Covert narcissists are SO good at dodging responsibility.
I used to wonder why he wouldn’t even choose the restaurant for our dinner. Many years later, I discovered that he wouldn’t choose so that nothing could ever be his fault. Why would he not make the plans for our vacation? But yet he would be so mad at me for the plans I made. He would not make the plans so that nothing would ever be his fault. And yet he would be mad at me because everything was my fault.
He didn’t help do the chores around the house because he didn’t want to do it wrong and make me mad. So he just did nothing! In his mind, then I could not be mad at him because he didn’t do anything wrong.
Blame shifting is a common weapon for a covert narcissist. If you are listening to this today - stop taking the blame for their faults. Stop taking responsibility for their stuff. You are not doing them or yourself any favors. They have their life to live. They have their own to answer for. Don’t let them lay this on your shoulders anymore!!
When I Actually Filed, Part Two
The Bone Dry Exhaustion of Life with a Covert Narcissist (Special Throwback Episode)
I Want Out! Now What? Part One
Interview About Covert Narcissism (Special Throwback Episode)
The Wounds from Childhood
Just Hard to Relax - Living in a Courtroom with a Covert Narcissist (Special Throwback Episode)
Conditioned to Accept Their Behavior
Q&A Session on Parenting With a Toxic Partner (Special Throwback Episode)
Emotional Childishness of Covert Narcissists
Shouldn’t I Just Be Grateful that it isn’t Worse? (Special Throwback Episode)
How Do You Handle the Guilt?
Clinging To The Breadcrumbs (Special Throwback Episode)
Learning from a Covert Narcissist
Why Do I Wonder if I am the Narcissist? (Special Throwback Episode)
Complex PTSD and Covert Narcissistic Abuse
No Reconciliation Ever with a Covert Narcissist (Throwback Episode)
It’s a Great Deal For Them
Why Can’t Covert Narcissists Give In Communication And What To Do About It (Throwback Episode)
It Would Have Just Been Easier If..
The Agonizing Lack of Give in a Covert Narcissist (Throwback Episode)
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