f you don't tell me to do it, then it is your fault that it didn't get done. If you tell me to do it, then it is your fault if it doesn't go right.
Have you ever heard these words or experienced these attitudes? Covert narcissists are SO good at dodging responsibility.
I used to wonder why he wouldn’t even choose the restaurant for our dinner. Many years later, I discovered that he wouldn’t choose so that nothing could ever be his fault. Why would he not make the plans for our vacation? But yet he would be so mad at me for the plans I made. He would not make the plans so that nothing would ever be his fault. And yet he would be mad at me because everything was my fault.
He didn’t help do the chores around the house because he didn’t want to do it wrong and make me mad. So he just did nothing! In his mind, then I could not be mad at him because he didn’t do anything wrong.
Blame shifting is a common weapon for a covert narcissist. If you are listening to this today - stop taking the blame for their faults. Stop taking responsibility for their stuff. You are not doing them or yourself any favors. They have their life to live. They have their own to answer for. Don’t let them lay this on your shoulders anymore!!
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
8 Signs of Circular Conversations from a Covert Narcissist Part 1 (Throwback Episode)
Single Most Painful Moment in My Marriage
The Subtleties of Covert Narcissism: Guest episode with Thomas
Reliving Your Teenage Years with a Covert Narcissist
Guest Episode with Erin Riley, Author of A Dark Force, 20 Years with a Covert Narcissist
Gaslighting: Cruel Psychological Abuse
Covert Narcissists Seem So Genuine - Special Throwback Episode
Silent Treatment and Covert Narcissism
Guest episode with High Conflict Divorce Coach, Eleanor Marks
What DOES Healthy Look Like?
Words from My Son, Part Two
Hyper Vigilance - Your Mind in Over Drive
Why Is It So Hard To Explain Covert Narcissistic Abuse To Someone?
The Victim of Covert Narcissism and the Wizard of Oz, Part 2
Hearing Our Kids: Words From My Son
Covert narcissism and the Wizard of Oz, Part 1
Living Through COVID with a Covert Narcissist - Special Guest Episode
The Narcissistic Collapse
Guys Living with a Covert Narcissistic Wife
The Stages of Grief as they Relate to Covert Narcissism
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