f you don't tell me to do it, then it is your fault that it didn't get done. If you tell me to do it, then it is your fault if it doesn't go right.
Have you ever heard these words or experienced these attitudes? Covert narcissists are SO good at dodging responsibility.
I used to wonder why he wouldn’t even choose the restaurant for our dinner. Many years later, I discovered that he wouldn’t choose so that nothing could ever be his fault. Why would he not make the plans for our vacation? But yet he would be so mad at me for the plans I made. He would not make the plans so that nothing would ever be his fault. And yet he would be mad at me because everything was my fault.
He didn’t help do the chores around the house because he didn’t want to do it wrong and make me mad. So he just did nothing! In his mind, then I could not be mad at him because he didn’t do anything wrong.
Blame shifting is a common weapon for a covert narcissist. If you are listening to this today - stop taking the blame for their faults. Stop taking responsibility for their stuff. You are not doing them or yourself any favors. They have their life to live. They have their own to answer for. Don’t let them lay this on your shoulders anymore!!
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
Living in the Narcissistic FOG
3 Landmarks that Boosted Me Forward
Everything you say and do can and will get used against you
Compare the life of a covert narcissist with the life of their victim
The Eternal Victim Role of a Covert Narcissist
How My Codependent Tendencies Led Me Straight to a Covert Narcissist
Midweek Check In #2
Entitlement - Feeding that False Self of Covert Narcissism
Covert Narcissism Podcast Trailer
A Deeper Look at Passive Aggressive Behavior
Midweek Check In
The Mixed-Up Emotions as the Relationship Ends
First Steps of Healing from Covert Narcissistic Abuse
This Was Never About You
What is Cognitive Dissonance and What Do I Do About It?
Removing Trauma from the Body
Grasping Covert Narcissism
Victims Often Join the Abuse Themselves
Blame Shifting - A Powerful Tool for the Covert Narcissist
The Narcissism Spectrum
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