f you don't tell me to do it, then it is your fault that it didn't get done. If you tell me to do it, then it is your fault if it doesn't go right.
Have you ever heard these words or experienced these attitudes? Covert narcissists are SO good at dodging responsibility.
I used to wonder why he wouldn’t even choose the restaurant for our dinner. Many years later, I discovered that he wouldn’t choose so that nothing could ever be his fault. Why would he not make the plans for our vacation? But yet he would be so mad at me for the plans I made. He would not make the plans so that nothing would ever be his fault. And yet he would be mad at me because everything was my fault.
He didn’t help do the chores around the house because he didn’t want to do it wrong and make me mad. So he just did nothing! In his mind, then I could not be mad at him because he didn’t do anything wrong.
Blame shifting is a common weapon for a covert narcissist. If you are listening to this today - stop taking the blame for their faults. Stop taking responsibility for their stuff. You are not doing them or yourself any favors. They have their life to live. They have their own to answer for. Don’t let them lay this on your shoulders anymore!!
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
What Really is a Covert Narcissist
Brinkmanship: The Crazy-Making Skills of a Covert Narcissist
A Grenade Inside a Tank
4 Hooks that Covert Narcissists Use to Rope You Back In Once Again
The Bone Dry Exhaustion of Life with a Covert Narcissist
Interview about covert narcissism
Just Hard to Relax - Living in a Courtroom with a Covert Narcissism
Q&A Session on Parenting with a Toxic Partner
Shouldn’t I just be grateful that it isn’t worse!?!
Clinging to the Breadcrumbs
Why do I Wonder if I am the Narcissist
No Reconciliation Ever with a Covert Narcissist
Why Can’t Covert Narcissists Give in Communication and What To Do About It
The Agonizing Lack of Give in a Covert Narcissist
8 Signs of a Circular Conversations from , Part 2
8 Signs of a Circular Conversations from , Part 1
Covert Narcissists Seem so Genuine
Why is it So Hard to Explain Covert Narcissistic Abuse to Someone?
A Thousand Bee Stings
Covert Narcissism and Hyper-Sensitivity
Join Podbean Ads Marketplace and connect with engaged listeners.
Advertise Today
Create your
podcast in
minutes
It is Free
Now You Know One Autistic! Podcast
We Can Do Hard Things
More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle
The Viall Files
Unlocking Us with Brené Brown