Even as Les, Kurt, and Jason come to the realization that they should be Hallmark and Lifetime movie consultants (and that Kurt should be a Blac Chyna consultant) they somehow missed the opportunity to say the phrase “when it rains, it bores.” Even without that profound piece of wisdom, you’ll still be treated to a very important discussion of sprinkles vs. jimmies before reading the temperature of Hallmark’s Love in the Forecast. If you ever wondered what it’s like to get fully stalked in Arkansas… in a Hallmark movie, by many people including a poor man’s Adam Devine, look no further than this movie which makes Les rail against people he finds un attractive. As our heroine Benjamin Buttons her way through a career by using a Rube Goldberg device to predict the weather, Jason is collecting S&H Green Stamps to be able to buy the love the Lifetime of Hallmark fan army of dairy farmers.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Grab Your Merkin to Take Me Back for Christmas to Explore the Maplewood Real Estate Market
My Professor’s Guide to Murder: Haylie Duff and Lifetime Want You to Get the Buckets
In Big Sky River, Everybody Wants to Keep the Cocks but not the Racoons
Her Affair to Die For is Actually His When the Child Is the Same Age as the Parent
Rooming with Danger, a Baby Monitor, and some WGA Picketers at the Oakwood Apartments
A Pinch of Portugal, a Dollop of Trash Can Ice Cream, and Tickle of Oran “Juice” Jones
A (Maybe) Non-Union David Paymer (lookalike) Can’t Be Drunk, Driving, and 17 But Can Be Part of a Super Heavy-Handed Message
Deep Throat finds Love in the Maldives in a Cult Founded by the Dalai Lama’s Tongue and Ray Parker Jr.
Stalked by My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge is to Eat a Bowlful of oatmeal, a fistful of cabbage, and a Cadbury Egg with Eric Roberts
Unthinkably Good Things Can Happen When Rock Hudson Hooks up with Gomer Pyle at a Blockbuster Video
The Wedding Veil Journey Into How Questioning Whether Someone Is Actually British Can Backfire Spectacularly
The Wedding Veil Inspiration for Regional Food Shaming is a Human Centipede of Friendship
How to Murder Your Husband: The Nancy Brophy Story starring Cybill Shepherd, Steve Guttenberg, and Rosy Pussytoes
The Wedding Veil Expectations is not in the Same League as I Love Lucy Because it’s Filled With Clapper Jokes rather than Jokes about Microsoft Clippy
Are My Friends Killers Or Are They the Park Ranger School of Acting Class of ’22?
The Ghosts of Christmas Always Will Visit You to Keep You from Watching the Punky Brewster Reboot
The Holiday Sitter Helps Hallmark Make Strides with Inclusive Content Even as It Shames Hawaiian Holiday Vacations
Steel Yourself, You’re Not Gonna See a Unit in My Southern Family Christmas, but You Will See Bruce Campbell, Moira Kelly, and a Nick Cannon Advent Calendar of Babies
Three Wise Men and a Baby and a QR Code to Buy Hallmark Wine
Lindsay Lohan is Falling for Christmas in Netflix’s (Unauthorized) Sequel to Overboard and Unbreakable We Didn’t Know We Needed
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