Even as Les, Kurt, and Jason come to the realization that they should be Hallmark and Lifetime movie consultants (and that Kurt should be a Blac Chyna consultant) they somehow missed the opportunity to say the phrase “when it rains, it bores.” Even without that profound piece of wisdom, you’ll still be treated to a very important discussion of sprinkles vs. jimmies before reading the temperature of Hallmark’s Love in the Forecast. If you ever wondered what it’s like to get fully stalked in Arkansas… in a Hallmark movie, by many people including a poor man’s Adam Devine, look no further than this movie which makes Les rail against people he finds un attractive. As our heroine Benjamin Buttons her way through a career by using a Rube Goldberg device to predict the weather, Jason is collecting S&H Green Stamps to be able to buy the love the Lifetime of Hallmark fan army of dairy farmers.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
How to Murder Your Husband: The Nancy Brophy Story starring Cybill Shepherd, Steve Guttenberg, and Rosy Pussytoes
The Wedding Veil Expectations is not in the Same League as I Love Lucy Because it’s Filled With Clapper Jokes rather than Jokes about Microsoft Clippy
Are My Friends Killers Or Are They the Park Ranger School of Acting Class of ’22?
The Ghosts of Christmas Always Will Visit You to Keep You from Watching the Punky Brewster Reboot
The Holiday Sitter Helps Hallmark Make Strides with Inclusive Content Even as It Shames Hawaiian Holiday Vacations
Steel Yourself, You’re Not Gonna See a Unit in My Southern Family Christmas, but You Will See Bruce Campbell, Moira Kelly, and a Nick Cannon Advent Calendar of Babies
Three Wise Men and a Baby and a QR Code to Buy Hallmark Wine
Lindsay Lohan is Falling for Christmas in Netflix’s (Unauthorized) Sequel to Overboard and Unbreakable We Didn’t Know We Needed
Deadly Garage Sale Isn’t Profitable Despite An Office Evite Promoting Grossly Overpriced Pine Cones
Let’s Get Physical with Jenna Dewan + Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelas’ Son in a Tale of Double Standards and George Goebel
Luke MacFarlane Tries to Score at Taking a Shot at Love but Puck Juggles into Being a Commentary on Slumlords with S’mores
Ruthless Realtor Sells Us on a Weekend Getaway in Santa Clarita Where One Can Mount a Pregnancy Test at the Frame Store
BONUS: A Deep Dive on the 1989 Jackee TV Pilot
Keeping up with the Joneses: The Wrong Nemesis is not Theodore Rex, He’s Theodore NEXT with Meredith Thomas
Catherine Bell at a Casual Prison with No Boundaries Means She’ll become Jailbreak Lovers with a Guy that Plays the Ukelele
Caribbean Summer Should Not Be Watched or Recapped Whilst Driving a Car in a Thunderstorm
Killer Grades Are Given for Aging Out of Being a Twink (like Menudo)
BONUS: Interview with the PornHub Math Teacher
Pretty Little Dead Girl Has Low Blood Sugar and Lots of Lingerie but No Black Hoodie
Love, Classified has Pansexuals, Heavy Drinking, and Even Feet Stuff
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