Even as Les, Kurt, and Jason come to the realization that they should be Hallmark and Lifetime movie consultants (and that Kurt should be a Blac Chyna consultant) they somehow missed the opportunity to say the phrase “when it rains, it bores.” Even without that profound piece of wisdom, you’ll still be treated to a very important discussion of sprinkles vs. jimmies before reading the temperature of Hallmark’s Love in the Forecast. If you ever wondered what it’s like to get fully stalked in Arkansas… in a Hallmark movie, by many people including a poor man’s Adam Devine, look no further than this movie which makes Les rail against people he finds un attractive. As our heroine Benjamin Buttons her way through a career by using a Rube Goldberg device to predict the weather, Jason is collecting S&H Green Stamps to be able to buy the love the Lifetime of Hallmark fan army of dairy farmers.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
BONUS: Interview with the PornHub Math Teacher
Pretty Little Dead Girl Has Low Blood Sugar and Lots of Lingerie but No Black Hoodie
Love, Classified has Pansexuals, Heavy Drinking, and Even Feet Stuff
Fatal Fandom has Twinks, Tacos, Crickets, and Death by Bandana
BONUS EPISODE: Christina DeRosa from Drowning in Secrets Is NOT Alyssa Milano but IS Helping Female Directors, Writers, and Producers
A Little Daytime Drama Can Happen When You’re Not Actually Hiking to the Hollywood Sign
Drowning in Secrets Star Laura Poe is Grilled about Empty Cups, Search Party Food Platters, and Shetland Ponies
If Walls Could Talk They’d Tell Meghan Markle Jr. About Amityville in Space
Allison Sweeney, Lacey Chabert, and Autumn Reeser Assemble Again for The Wedding Veil Legacy, This Time It’s Personal
The Wedding Veil Unveiled Autumn Reeser, Lacey Chabert, Allison Sweeney, and Hallmark’s Most Scandalous Plot Point Ever
Single Black Female Brings Wind Chimes and a Head in a Bag to Crazy Girls
Pyscho Storm Chaser Is Responsible for the Castaways on Gilligan’s Island Because Employment Law Allows for Murdering During Your Break
Lacey Chabert, Allison Sweeney, and Autumn Reeser Pull back The Wedding Veil to Reveal The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants without the Pants
The Wrong Blind Date with Special Guest Meredith Thomas is Lifetime’s Lady in Waiting to Queen Vivica A. Fox
Days of Our Lives: A Very Salem Christmas with Daytime Confidential’s Jillian Bowe, plus Jackee Harry and Heteropaternal Superfecundation
REPOST: Betty White and Jennifer Love Hewitt find The Lost Valentine Who Is Not Gil Gerard
Sister Swap: Christmas in the City is Like the Other Sister Swap Movie, but with Gay People Too
There are NO Twins or Body Switches in Sister Swap: A Hometown Holiday, but There IS a Crying Room
An Ice Wine Christmas Toasts the On Call Volunteer Grape Pickers Who Believe in Science and Sex
BONUS: My (Unauthorized) Hallmark Movie Musical
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